


Love Was Gone When Autumn Came

by dorkylokifan



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: It's the last damn straw, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, M/M, Mpreg, Rape, Thor is sick of Loki's shit, Unworthy Thor, aftermath of rape, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:33:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 36,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4458530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkylokifan/pseuds/dorkylokifan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Avengers AU. Thor does the unthinkable as the last shred of love he feels for Loki's dissolves away, and is replaced by hatred and contempt. Thor becomes unworthy of Mjolnir and Loki is left to contend with the results of a violent coupling. The Avengers find Loki some months later with a child in his arms and a broken spirit. Is it even possible for love to ever come back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unworthy

Thor pulls the blade out of his ribcage and throws it on the ground. Why does Loki always stab him there? He should aim for his heart, it would be less cruel somehow. Another giant viper rears up to strike at Thor, venom dripping from its fangs. Thor flings Mjolnir at it and beheads it. The creature’s head falls down and in Thor’s exhaustion he does not notice the bounce. A fang slices a gash into Thor’s thigh and he screams in agony.

Tony hears him and flies to his aid. He pulls out a syringe and stabs Thor in the arm with it. It’s the anti-venom. It’ll save Thor’s life but he’s going to feel like shit for a while. Thor sits there in a heap as the battle rages around him. His feverish body begs for rest but Thor cannot. Loki is still a threat. As his friends all fight valiantly against the army of giant serpents Thor spies Loki making his getaway.

“Not this time.” Thor forces himself to his feet and takes off after Loki, intent on ending this fight once and for all. He follows Loki to a half-completed skyscraper and knocks Loki to the ground. Loki laughs.

“What’s the matter Thor? Feeling a little drained?” Loki says. Thor grabs him by the hair and punches Loki in the face repeatedly. He doesn’t hold back, giving Loki every ounce of strength in each blow. Bones break and crack as eyes swell shut and bleed. Thor presses Loki’s body against the ground and an evil thought fills and blackens the thunderer’s heart.

“My forgiveness has run out.” Thor presses his lips to Loki’s left ear as his whole body pins Loki to the cement. “Hear me well Loki for this is the last time we will speak. You are not my brother. That bond is dead in me. I am tired of begging you to come home, to stop killing innocent people, to stop trying to kill my friends…and ME. And to prove to you that the love is gone, I am going to hurt you in the most monstrous way I can conceive.”

Thor grabs a hold of Loki’s leathers and rips them from Loki’s body as though it were not more than tissue paper. Loki squeaks in shock as the cool air rushes against his skin. True terror fills Loki’s heart. He expected Thor to beat him, kill him even, but not this. Thor does not rape. He would never. Thor is too perfect, too golden, too worthy.

One of Thor’s hands rakes down Loki’s backside and he growls when he roughly cups Loki’s ass. Loki trembles.

“Thor? Thor think about this! You can’t! You’ll be…AHHH!” Loki cries out as Thor roughly shoves two dry fingers into his ass. Thor growls again.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that? Do you have any idea how I’ve longed to fuck you?” Thor strokes Loki’s insides as he stares at the back of Loki’s head with hate. “Not last week I fantasized about us being together. That somehow you would come to your senses and stop all of this! That I could finally confess the true nature of my love for you. That I could MAKE LOVE to you. But I can no longer ignore your constant attempts to kill me. You do not love me. You never will, and I have been a fool to hope for anything different!”

Thor pulls his hand out of Loki’s ass and unlaces the front of his trousers. His giant red meaty cock springs out, looking just as angry as Thor does.

“I do love you brother! Do not do this!” Loki cries out. Thor bashes Loki’s head against the floor.

“LIES!” Thor hisses, and thrusts into Loki without care for his pain. Loki screams as his insides are torn apart. Thor rides him mercilessly, grunting like a furious beast. The smell of copper tinges the air, and Loki knows that it is his blood lubricating his passage. Tears sting his swollen black eyes as Thor sates his lust and wrath on Loki’s body. The creamy milky skin he has ached to massage and kiss and caress shines with sweat. Thor howls as his seed pumps deep within Loki.

A quiet moment passes as Thor recovers. His breathing slows and the Thunder God rises and stands above Loki’s abused beaten body. Thor’s cape begins to dissolve like cotton candy in the wind. His armor disappears and the song of Mjolnir no longer calls to Thor’s heart. He cannot hear her.

Thor is unworthy.

Loki twists his head back, peering through the swollen slits of his eyes.

“Finally. Everyone will see you as I do.” Loki says.

“Yes Loki. They will see a man pushed to his breaking point. I hope this victory brings you everything you ever hoped for. You have killed my ability to trust and love. I hope you are satisfied at long last. When you are done gloating over my exposed flaws, do the universe a favor, and kill yourself.” Thor steps around Mjolnir, unable to move her and leaves her behind. He finds a set of stairs and walks all the way down them to the street before hailing a cab and heading back to the tower.

Loki lies there, resting. The sobs come small at first, but progress to wails of sorrow as the minutes pass. He is alone, with no one else to hear him, for which he is glad. The love is dead. He never imagined it would be so, and yet that is what he’s been telling himself all this time.

He doesn’t love Thor. Thor is not his brother. Thor would make a terrible King of Asgard. Thor does not deserve the love of the mortals. Thor, Thor, Thor. Thor loves that Jane woman not him! Thor loves Sif not him!

Thor wanted him. Thor begged him to come home. Over and over, but how was Loki to know the inner most secret held desires of his brother’s heart?

“I dreamed a dream as well.”

 


	2. Catch 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow! The feedback on this one has been awesome! Some of you have noticed parallels between this story and a previous one I wrote called Aftermath. I decided to revisit the plot idea after having reassessed the whole scenario. This version is definitely darker, but I think better and more in keeping with the characters. I figured if Thor is angry enough to rape Loki he sure as hell is not going to feel remorseful about it. Many of you have requested a kinder gentler Odin, and I agree.

Thor offered the cab driver money but the cab driver declined to take it. He recognized Thor and wondered what had happened to his hammer. Thor staggered out of the cab, feeling beaten and exhausted. The ride up the elevator took an eternity. When he reached the top floor of the clubhouse he walked off the elevator where his friends were waiting for him.

Natasha saw him first, followed by everyone else. They saw his appearance and knew something was wrong.

“Thor! Here let’s get you to the infirmary and have Bruce check you out.” Tony says.

“I am fine.” Thor says, not making eye contact with anyone. He sits down on the edge of the couch, looking pensive.

“Thor? Where is your hammer?” Steve asks.

“She is where I left her.” Thor says cryptically.

“Okay…so call her to you.” Tony says.

“I cannot. I am no longer worthy.” Thor says. Everyone looks Thor over, feeling stunned.

“What happened?” Steve asks.

“I did something criminal and that I can never take back.” Thor says.

“Thor, did you kill someone? Did you kill Loki?” Clint asks.

“No, I did not kill him.” Thor says.

“But you found him?” Tony asks looking at Thor. Thor looks away entirely. He cannot show them his face.

“Thor, what did you do to Loki?” Natasha crouches down so she can look into Thor’s eyes. “Thor look at me. We are your friends. We will understand.”

“I can never tell you. You will never see me the same way again.” Thor says. Natasha stands and gives Steve a look. They all politely take their leave to talk about Thor in another room. Thor doesn’t care.

“Jesus I’ve never seen Point Break look like that after one of these fights with Loki. What the fuck did he do to piss off the hammer of destiny?” Tony asks.

“You know what he did Tony. It’s just none of us wants to even consider it.” Natasha says. Tony’s face turns to stone. He’s not a naïve school girl. He knows the evil that men can do when all rationale has left them.

“No…No he wouldn’t. Nat Loki is his brother.” Tony says a bubble of vomit rises in his throat.

“Thor kills people in battle all the time. Killing Loki to protect people wouldn’t be any different than him killing someone else. He didn’t kill him. He said as much. So what is left? What horrid thing could Thor have done to his brother to make the hammer reject him?”

“Torture.” Clint asks.

“Yes.” Natasha says.

“I wonder how bad. He said Loki was still alive. I wonder if he is still a threat.” Steve asks.

“I don’t believe it. I can’t. Thor is not the kind of guy to…” Tony trails off as his own experiences flash to the fore of his mind.

“I trust my instincts on this. I know I’m right.” Natasha says.

“Jesus. So what do we do?” Tony asks.

“Nothing.” Bruce says.

“What?”

“You heard me. Loki is a wanted criminal and Thor has been fighting him to help protect our people. I frankly don’t give a damn what Thor did to him. It sucks that he can’t use Mjolnir anymore. It means he can’t fly or do some of the other things that the hammer let him do. He’ll have to change the way he fights and find a new weapon to use. But as far as Loki goes…fuck him.” Bruce says.

“Look, whatever happened today has transformed Thor in a fundamental way. We need to take a step back and let everything breathe for a moment. If Loki is still alive, and it sounds like he is, we don’t know when or if he will be coming back to get revenge for what happened today.” Steve says.

“We need to carry on like nothing happened. Give Thor some space. He’ll talk if he wants to, or not.” Natasha says.  
They break ranks and file back into the living room. Thor hasn’t moved. Bruce grabs his med kit and sits down on the couch next to Thor to tend to his wounds. Thor requires several sutures in his thigh and on some of the cuts on his face. The minutes tick by in silence.

The balcony lights up suddenly, with the light of the new Bifrost. Thor had expected his father, but it is Frigga standing there. She lets herself in through the sliding glass door. Thor does not rise to meet her. He knows what is coming. Her face is etched in stone and Bruce moves away sensing what is coming. She comes to stand before him, looking down on him with a dour horrified expression.

Thor sees Frigga’s hand come up and does not move. She backhands him across the face with a powerful air cracking slap. WHACK!

“Your father and I have decided to forbid your return. You will not be allowed into Asgard again until you become worthy of Mjolnir once more. Frankly my son, I do not see a road back for you. You have broken my heart more effectively than Loki ever could.”

“I’m not sorry.”

“I know you’re not.” She turns to leave.

“What of Loki?” Thor asks.

“Loki is also banished to this realm. He must pay recompense for his crimes here.” She takes another step to leave.

“Um Ma’am? I’m sorry. But Loki is very dangerous. We don’t feel comfortable with him being here and able to roam free. How do you know he won’t cause more trouble?” Steve asks.

Frigga looks at Thor again.

“Loki finally got what he wanted.”

XxXxXxXxXx

Naked, bleeding, and alone Loki removes the spell shielding Heimdall’s sight from him. Loki gingerly moves his body to an awkward sitting position, and he waits. Within seconds Heimdall appears and comes to stand before Loki, his sword at the ready.

“Kill me.” Loki says as he looks up at the gatekeeper from the dirt.

“I am instructed to keep you here and to await orders and nothing more.” Heimdall focuses on something over Loki’s head, purposely not looking at him. The minutes tick by. After what feels like an eternity, perhaps an hour, Odin’s ravens make an appearance. They circle the building and swoop in, landing on Heimdall’s shoulders. Munnin speaks into Heimdall’s right ear.

“It is the decision of the Allfather and Allmother to leave you here. You must pay recompense to the people of Midgard for your crimes if you ever wish to return to Asgard. You may go.”

“What?” Loki looks at the raven incredulously. “I have slain innocents. I have made Thor unworthy. Why would you let me live?” Loki asks.

“Your victory is your own punishment Loki.” Heimdall looks up to leave.

“Wait. Before you go, tell me something.” Loki says to the ravens. “You once told me in the vault that you took me for a purpose. To unite Asgard and Jotunnheim. How exactly?” Loki asks. Hoguinn whispers into Heimdall’s left ear.

“By way of political marriage to Thor.” Heimdall says.

“Why didn’t you do it?” Loki asks.

“Your mother and father feared that you would feel used and unloved, as nothing more than a bargaining chip. They love you, as though you are a child of their own bodies. The last thing they wanted, was for you to feel like Thor’s bed slave.” Heimdall answers. Loki nods. The light of the BiFrost comes down and the gatekeeper is gone.

Loki gathers the tattered remains of his clothing and throws on an illusion to look like a fully clothed mortal man, and heads home.

 


	3. Perspective

Days passed. Loki lied in bed but did not sleep. When sleep did take him he was wracked with nightmares of blood, screaming, and pain. He awoke bereft and alone, knowing he had scorned the love of everyone in his life that mattered. His parents loved him, knew him well enough that they did not try to force him into a relationship where he would feel like a broodmare and a whore. He ended up hating them for trying to raise him equally with Thor, and falling short.

     Then there is Thor. Loki takes stock of all his misdeeds and finds a glaring hideous truth. He’s been lying to himself for a very long time. He’s had many reasons to attack and undermine Thor to this point, jealousy, rivalry, envy, ambition, greed…but it was love that drove Loki to madness. And what did he achieve? He destroyed the person he loved the most and turned him into a twisted thing, a thing he must now fear. He has no doubt, Thor will kill him the next time they meet.He never imagined in his wildest dreams that Thor would ever return his affections. How could he? It was Thor and his friends that first called him ergi when he was an adolescent. Loki could only assume Thor did not harbor such lustful preferences. He trained himself to look upon Thor with platonic love and nothing more. The years passed and the competition between them for the throne became a wedge that turned Loki’s love into jealousy and envy. Now, everything is destroyed. He destroyed himself.

     Loki thinks about the future as he lies on his couch in his darkened apartment. It is large and luxurious thanks to his thievery, magic, and deception. Loki has been living quite comfortably on Midgard. He orders take out Chinese food for a week straight. He cries. He laments Thor, but what he really laments is his solitude. He’s alone. He has no friends. He tried to kill them. He has no family, not here, not anymore. After trying no less than seven times to kill Thor, his brother had finally had enough. And what did he expect? No really. What the fuck had he been thinking? What were his goals? His end game? After escaping the prison in Asgard he just went back to Midgard and picked up where he left off with the ambition of achieving what? All he did was screw around with these petty games and skirmishes. It was fun. It was distracting. It hid the fact that he had completely fucked his whole life. Thor may be a god but he is a man as well. His patience does have limits. Thor is his brother no longer. He is the enemy. Truly, for the first time.

     Two months go by. Loki looks in the mirror and tries to recall the last time he bathed. Four days ago? He hops into the shower and gives himself the first good scrub down he’s had in weeks. He’s been so exhausted lately, and has been sleeping excessively, but that is the depression he supposes. Food has lost its appeal as well. So much so that he occasionally retches for no discerning reason. He gets out of the shower and wipes away the fog that steamed up the mirror. His hair has gotten even longer. He used to care about things like that. He doesn’t have anyone in his life to impress. He’s alone in the universe and no one, save his parents, would mourn his passing. And even they would feel a measure of relief.  
He looks in the mirror and studies his face. His face has healed. He has a small scar now above his eyebrow. It’s not really noticeable, but it will always remind him. Loki stands up tall and straightens his shoulders and takes stock of his situation. He either needs to get busy living or get busy dying, and suicide just doesn’t seem as appealing the second time around.

     “Enough. You had a dream. That dream is dead. You are alone now, but you can start over. You can be someone new. You can put away the childishness. You are not a prince. Not here. Here you are a poor man, for you have no family or friends. If you want happiness, you’ll have to go out and get it…just as soon as I figure out what the hell that is.”

     Loki gets dressed and makes an effort to look presentable, even though he has to change his face to avoid detection. He takes the elevator down and gets onto the subway. The sounds and smells of New York are not always pleasant, but after being cooped up in his apartment the change is welcomed. He gets off at the stop for Central Park and finds a beautiful set of trees to sit under. It is autumn and the leaves are changing color. The bright reds, golds, and yellows are cheerful and brilliant. The bright blue sky is devoid of clouds of any kind. He spends the rest of the day people watching. It’s a start.

XxXxXxXx

     Days pass. Thor refuses to look at Jane and speaks little. She’s worried about him but this silence is bullshit. He’s wallowed long enough. Either he needs to confess whatever the hell he did or suck it up and drive on.

     “Thor. Just tell me.”

     “I cannot.”

     “Can’t or won’t?”

     “You’ve always been supportive of me. I’ve never had to worry about ulterior motives with you. Your gestures of goodwill are always genuine. With Loki I’ve always had to wonder if there was a larger game at play.”

     “I sense of really big BUT in there….”

     “But you and I are over. I am not the man you thought I was, and I will never love you in the way you deserve.”

     “You’re breaking up with me?” Jane asks, astonished. “No! No you don’t get to break up with me. You need me to get through…whatever the fuck this is. You fell from grace once before but you can get up again. This is just a temporary setback.”

     “I raped Loki.” Thor says. It takes Jane a moment to process the words. It is as though Thor has spoken a foreign language. The seconds tick by as Jane’s face slowly contorts to one of disgust and disbelief.

     “What?”

     “I held him down and fucked him as he screamed, and it was WONDERFUL!” Thor’s voice cracks, betraying his secret pain beneath.

     “Oh my god! Oh MY GOD! What! How…WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! HE’S YOUR BROTHER!”

     “He’s a Jotunn orphan, a spoiled prince, and a traitor who has tried to kill me for the last time.”

     “Okay…so you try to kill him back. That’s how that works. Why rape Thor?” Tears stream down Jane’s face.

     “To expel a long held desire I had for him.” Thor looks down and away.

     “I see.” Jane marches to their bedroom and stuffs her clothes into her suitcase. She doesn’t bother trying to get every last little thing. If she forgets a pair of underwear or her toothbrush so be it. She just needs to leave. She doesn’t bother looking at him as she leaves their apartment there at Avenger’s tower. She does head to the clubhouse, though to wish the others a final farewell. She finds Tony and Steve playing a videogame on the couch. The two men spot her and know she has learned something devastating.

     “Pause it.” Steve says. Tony pushes the little button. They both rise to meet her.

     “I’m not coming back.” She sobs as she hugs Tony and then Steve. “You guys are really great. You’re real heroes. You really are. Tony if you ever have questions or want my input on some research you promise to call me okay?”

     “Yeah you bet.” Tony says.

     “Jane?”

     “Yeah Steve?”

     “What did Thor do?”

     “I can’t…I can’t…” Jane wipes her eyes with her wrist as she turns and runs to the elevator to escape. The doors close and she is gone.  
Steve and Tony head straight to Thor’s room and find the Thunder God right where Jane left him. They each take a seat in a chair across from him.

     “Thor. Look man, we can see you are not coping with what happened.” Tony says.

     “You did something terrible, and you obviously regret it.”

     “I don’t.” Thor says.

     “I think you do.” Steve says. “Good men don’t spend several days drunk and then break up with their girlfriend over something they are not ashamed of.”

     “Tell us what you did. You’ll feel better.” Tony says.

     “You’ll run from me, as Jane did. You will no longer count me as your friend.” Thor says.

     “You tortured Loki didn’t you?” Tony says. “I’m not a big fan of torture. You know my history. But I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t confess that I have fantasized countless times about beating the shit out of Loki for days on end, until his body finally gave out. I know the big green guy would love to take another crack at him.”

     “Thor, if you had him, why didn’t you kill him?” Steve asks. Thor doesn’t answer. He looks away and fidgets like a small child caught in a lie. “Thor, if Loki is still a threat, we need to know.”

     “Loki will always be a threat. He will never stop. He will not be satisfied until I am dead.”

 


	4. On the Ledge of Belvedere Castle

Loki whips out his binoculars as a Red Tailed Hawk lands on Belvedere Castle. There is a nest there on the ledge, and the mother has been tending to her eggs beautifully. Loki pulls out his notebook and jots down an entry in his Audubon journal. He has become an expert about all of Central Park’s flying citizens. He pulls out his sketch pad and draws the scene. He has gotten quite good with practice these past many months. He draws the long lines outlining the hawk’s wing span before continuing on to the details of the head. He doesn’t know why, but the tiny little family is important to him.

When Loki finishes drawing he tries to put the pencil back in its box, but the pencil slips from his grasp and he curses himself. He keeps dropping things, and bumping into things. He has little bruises everywhere from either stumbling or catching the corner of furniture. It’s like his center of gravity is off, which it is. He’s gotten fat. Too much mint chip ice cream. Too much fish. He can’t help it. There are some days he is just completely ravenous. His stomach isn’t too doughy, thankfully. He is able to hide his weight gain with good tailoring.

He doesn’t beat himself up about it though. Baby steps. He’s learning how to just be in the world and not try to run it. No plotting. No intrigues. No looking at those fucking asshole teenagers over there and imagining how if he were King of Midgard they would all be his slaves and getting whipped on a regular basis for their insolent behavior. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. He has to stop trying to want control and dominate people. People don’t like that. Though he has come to find, he doesn’t like people. He likes specific people, but dealing with the masses is torture.

He found that out the hard way when he volunteered at a homeless shelter last month. The rudeness and outright belligerence of some of those people had been shocking. Loki almost killed one man on the spot. He didn’t go back. He’ll have to find some other way to pay recompense to Midgard. Until then, he’s taking it easy and watching the birds.

The vacation has been good for Loki. No pressure. No duties. Just soul searching and bird watching. He’s taken up other hobbies too. His mother taught him to sew when he was very young, and quilting has also been filling up his time of late.  
Loki packs up all his things into his shoulder bag and heads home. The quilt is a story board of colors and history. Each square has been lovingly hand stitched and embroidered with symbols and scenes from Loki’s memory. Some good, some bad, and some transformative. It has been therapeutic for Loki and forced him to reflect on moments he’d rather forget.

The sun filters into his living room which smells of lavender and peonies. He feels energetic this afternoon, and he uses the burst of energy to clean his home again. It is already spotless, but there is some dust behind the refrigerator he hasn’t gotten to yet. He gets on his hands and knees with an old toothbrush and inspects the baseboards in the areas where the mop can’t reach.

After five hours of that he is exhausted and his back is screaming in protest. He lies down on the couch to watch Downton Abbey, and wonders about how the servants back home used to see him. When he heads to bed he turns on his noise machine and listens to the sound of rain falling and lights a rain scented candle. He doesn’t think too deeply on why he has these things. It is comforting. Nothing more. He turns out the light and falls into a deep restful sleep, until about one the morning when his abdomen seizes in pain.

“Ah!” Loki cries out. He sits up and turns on the light to find his stomach covered in thick viscous blood. He looks like he has been stabbed. He looks around the room but does not see an assailant. Thor is not one to stab and run, nor does he sense the presence of another person at all. Another tremor squeezes his insides and more blood comes gushing out. Loki gets up and runs to the bathroom. He lifts his shirt to see that his belly button has expanded and there is a giant gaping hole, about an inch wide with a canal leading deeper. More alarming, his skin is blue. Odin’s charm is failing and his true appearance is bleeding through. One of his eyes is blood red while the other still green.

Loki’s mind reels as he tries to understand what is happening to him. His stomach muscles contract again and the hole gets even larger. It is then that Loki notices a tuft of blonde hair at the center.

“Oh dear gods!” Loki’s tears freeze on his cheek and fall into the sink, clinking like a loud bell. He grabs a stack of towels and lays them out in the tub and climbs in. He gets on his hands and knees. His memory riffles through everything it knows about Jotunn anatomy. He should have known! How could he have been so obtuse, so stupid, so blind? All the signs were there. Worry spreads to Loki’s heart then. He never felt the baby move. Is it even alive? Can Jotunns feel their babies move?

“AHHHHH!” Loki bears down through another contraction. More blood. More thick clear mucus. He pants as the pain increases in intensity and frequency. His hair is getting in the way. It is so long now. He feels the bulk of the child move within him, assisted by gravity. He feels something inside shift and with one more great shock of pain he cries out as the child slips from his body in a single easy push.

The baby girl lands on the soft cotton towel with a cry. Her bright blue eyes look up at him as she squirms and reaches for her mother. Her pretty blonde hair is matted with fluids. Loki picks her up and stands. He removes the dirty towels and turns on the water as tears of joy stream down his face.

Her perfect little pink fingers curl into his long black hair. Her coos are soft and her toothless mouth suckles at Loki’s shoulder as the warm shower water trickles down Loki’s back, washing away the birthing mess. He cradles her and inspects her. She looks like Thor, gorgeous. His heart swells. He has someone to care for, and someone to love him back.

He has family again.

 


	5. Can You Hear the Horses, 'Cause Here They Come

Valeria looks up at her mother and giggles. Her chubby little fingers pull a little too vigorously at Loki’s hair, but he doesn’t mind. She’s such a happy baby. He nuzzles her tummy and gives her a raspberry making her squeal in delight. She’s so loud. He kisses her little cheek and tickles her little feet as they sit on the floor and play. She tries to rollover onto her stomach. She’ll get there. She fusses a bit and reaches up towards Loki’s chest.

“Oh, someone’s hungry. Is it blue time? It’s blue time. Yeah.” Loki lifts up his shirt to expose his chest. His breasts did not swell like a human woman’s would. The nipples did enlarge and soften though. Sometimes they leak, which is inconvenient. At first he considered wearing some sort of bra but he felt ridiculous when he tried one on. Loki lets his natural form overtake him. Valeria responds to the change by turning blue as well. Her eyes turn a brilliant violet. Her little hand smacks at Loki’s chest and yanks at his raven locks as she looks up at him with big inquisitive eyes.

“Dadda loves you. Dadda loves you so much.” Loki moves to sit in his rocking chair as he feeds his baby girl. She starts to drift off as she drinks her fill. Loki looks out the window then. There is another unforecasted rain storm again. Loki can only wonder what has Thor in such a foul mood today.

XxXxXxXx

 

“Wow that one only lasted two weeks.” Clint says. Thor looks at the bent sword blade. None of the blades of mortal construction last very long.

“Thor, look I know that is the kind of weapon you are used to but I think you need to make the transition to guns.” Steve says.

“Guns are…impersonal.” Thor says.

“Now there is a philosophical debate. Which is more monstrous? Killing your opponent quickly and easily from a distance as though they were nothing more than a tin can sitting on top of a fence post…OR…getting up close and personal, and watching the life drain from their eyes as you kill them.” Natasha asks.

“You’re not a monster Natasha.” Steve says.

“SHIELD didn’t always think so.” She says. Clint gives her arm a squeeze. Thor tosses the blade into a bin, created just for him and grabs a new sword from the pile. He goes through them so quickly. Each new sword is a reminder of what he did and why he is no longer worthy.

“Killing from a distance is easier, and tactically necessary sometimes. But I do think that there is something…respectful? I guess…about killing them up close. You remember them, you know.” Clint says.

“That is my sentiment Agent Barton. Killing is serious business, and an intimate affair. Guns make it too easy.” Thor says.

“That’s what made WWI so bad. The technology of guns turned masses of people into cannon fodder. If the people of my grandfather’s generation could see the threats we face now.” Steve says.

“Doom is up to something. That warehouse in Pennsylvania was the beginning of something bigger. We need to be ready.” Bruce says.

“Loki could show up at some point too. This past year has been really damn quiet.” Clint says.

“If Loki is fool enough to face me on the battlefield again, I will not hesitate.” Thor says.

“Is Loki even in any kind of shape to try anything?” Tony asks.

“A year has passed. Loki has had more than enough ample time to heal from his injuries.” Thor says.

“Are you ever going to tell us what exactly you did to him?” Steve asks.

“The less you know the better.” Thor says as he swings his sword at a dummy.

XxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki puts Valeria down for a nap. He’s torn between his need to eat and his need to sleep. His stomach growls and eating wins out. He calls the little Italian place on the corner and orders a pizza for delivery. It’s good pizza. They make their own mozzarella which they use on the pizzas. The inconsistent sleep Loki is getting makes him very tired, but he cannot complain. It is a happy burden. Loki sits on the couch watching the history channel and doses off as he waits for the pizza to arrive. The loud knock makes Loki jump up and he steps on one of Valeria’s toys, which makes him bump his shin into the coffee table, which then makes him fall flat on his face.

“Ow! Bugger! Thrice damned Midgardian furniture!” Loki limps to the door and yanks out his wallet. He shoves a $20 into the hands of the kid delivering his pizza and slams the door.

Stew Melvinson, a 19 year old zit faced high school grad is as skinny as a scarecrow and just as attractive. Loki forgot to put on a fake face when he answered the door. Stew would recognize Loki anywhere. His face has been on the news countless times. He delivers to this address on a regular basis, but it was always a different guy that answered the door, and sometimes a woman, but they all had white skin, green eyes, and black hair. The teenager calmly walks to the elevator, presses the down button, pulls out his cell phone and calls 911.

XxXxXxXxXx

“Hey everybody in the War Room now. Fury says a call just came in. Loki has been located.” Steve announces. Thor’s face becomes unreadable and everyone glances at him as they all gather to have a meeting.

“What has he done?” Thor asks.

“Nothing. A kid delivering pizza identified him and called the police.”

“How do we know this kid got it right?”

“Intel on the apartment reveals that the identity of the man that owns the apartment is fake. The Social Security number is fake, the name is fake, and all the documentation provided for the deed of sale is fake.”

“It’s a pretty good bet then. Is it a trap?” Clint asks.

“Probably. Loki’s not stupid enough to let some teenager see his real face, unless he wanted him to see it.” Tony says.

“So guns blazing then?” Bruce asks.

“More or less, yeah. Thor, I’m going to have you hang back a bit. Odds are you are the target and I don’t think you should be the first one in.” Steve says.

“Agreed.” Thor says.

XxXxXxXxXx

“Is it bath time?” Loki asks his baby girl. She squeals and grabs his nose. She loves the water. Every night they hop into the shower, get clean together, and the Loki rubs his little snowflake down with lavender lotion before putting on her diaper and onesie, breast feeding her and tucking her in for bed. He puts the baby carrier next to the bath tub and puts her down in it so he has his hands free to undress. Loki looks at his stomach when he removes his shirt. His belly button is no longer a tiny little indent but a loose puckering of skin. Even though his washboard stomach came back, the extra skin ruins what would otherwise be perfection.

“You ruined daddy’s perfect body you know. Look at flabby daddy. Yes you did. Flabby daddy. Flabby daddy can make his belly talk. Yes he can.” Loki jiggles his belly skin between his two hands to make it look like a big talking mouth. Valeria coos and giggles at her silly flabby daddy as her chubby baby arms slap about. Loki finishes undressing and picks up his daughter. He pulls off her diaper, depositing it in the trash. The shower water is a comfortable lukewarm temperature. For the sake of convenience Loki uses the baby shampoo on them both. It is a little awkward to maneuver and scrub everywhere thoroughly with only one hand, but he manages it.

“I think we should go see the hawks at the park tomorrow. Yes. I love you. I love you. Can you say dada? Can you say…”

BAM!

Loki gasps at the sound of his front door being kicked in. He hears the sound of many heavy booted feet trampling around in his apartment. He freezes in fear and panic. He shuts off the water, hoping that they didn’t hear it running. (As if they wouldn’t check the bathroom) He reaches out and grabs his bath robe and the towel off the towel rack to shield his modesty and the baby. The sounds of familiar voices mumbling outside Loki’s bathroom makes Loki hold his breath.

The shower curtain is still closed and Loki hears the door knob turn. He crouches down in the tub holding his darling girl, protecting her from whatever barrage of gunfire that may come. The sound of a single set of footsteps walking across the floor tile echoes in the tiny room. The shower curtain is yanked back.

Steve looks down on Loki with horror in his face. Tears fall from Loki’s eyes, expecting this to be the moment he is finally killed. Valeria picks up on her mother’s distress and wails her little baby cries into Loki’s chest.

“Please. Please don’t hurt her.” Loki begs. Steve sees her blonde hair and blue eyes, but he didn’t need to. He knows who her father is. He’s not stupid.

“Tell Thor to stay back. Far back. I don’t want him anywhere near here.” Steve yells. “Loki, give me the baby.”

“No!”

“Loki, this is a dangerous situation. There are a lot of men here with guns and itchy trigger fingers. We need to get your baby out of here.”

“You’ll take her from me and I’ll never see her again. No.”

“Fine. But you are coming with us.” Loki stands and slowly steps out of the bathtub and walks towards the door where the rest of the Avengers are waiting. Tony looks at Loki and then the baby, and then looks away in shame. Bruce looks horrified as well. Nick looked like he was about to faint. There are baby items scattered everywhere throughout the apartment.

“What are Clint and Nat doing?” Steve asks.

“We’re in here.” Clint walks up to Steve with a baby bag. They packed.

“Good thinking.” Steve says.

“I didn’t see any baby formula though.” Clint says.

“I breast feed.” Loki says quietly.

“Oh.” Clint says. In the background, Loki left his computer on, with a selection of Florence and the Machine playing. It is one of her concerts. Valeria loves her voice and she falls asleep listening to her while breastfeeding every night. The mood it sets makes everyone on the team feel… wrong, regretful at having found this place.

Loki, with Valeria in his arms is escorted out of his apartment, downstairs, into an awaiting SUV on the street. He climbs in and looks around.

“Where is Thor?” Loki asks Steve.

“A safe distance away. Tony is going to go talk to him, and tell him the news.”

 


	6. Bargaining Chip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here you are my darlings! I know that last chapter was an evil cliff hanger. Well hang no more.

Tony flies up to the roof of Loki’s apartment building where Thor is waiting. The Thunder God turns to him, awaiting news of Loki.

“Do you have him?” Thor asks.

“Yes we do.” Tony says. “So you raped him.”

“He told you.”

“No, he didn’t have to. The blonde haired blue eyed baby girl that looks exactly like you told us.”

“What?”

“Loki gave birth to your rape baby. Mazeltov.” Tony says. Thor paces back and forth as he digests this information. His blood boils and his heart clenches. Is the child healthy? Does Loki love the child? Is he trying to use the child against him in some way? Of course he is. He’s Loki.

“I don’t have any other children.” Thor says.

“So?”

“She’s my heir. Heir to the throne of Asgard, and Loki is her mother. I see the nature of his revenge now. He would raise her to hate me, take me down. Well if he thinks I’ll let him turn my own child against me…” BAM! Tony punches Thor in the face to shut him up.

“First off, the fact that Loki got pregnant in the first place is your fault! You pinned him down and fucked him against his will or don’t you remember? Second off, Loki doesn’t need to undermine you, you’re in line to the throne of Jack and Shit!”

“You would take his side over me?!” Thor yells.

“I’m not taking his side, I’m pointing out the facts! Look, years of Loki plotting against you and fucking with your head has clearly taken its toll on you. I get it. But this time is different Thor. He was scared. Scared like I have NEVER seen him scared, and that includes right after the Chitauri invasion after Bruce wiped the floor with him. He loves that baby. And I don’t know what the fuck is going to happen now, now that we have him in our custody. He’s a wanted criminal. So if you want to redeem yourself in any way shape or form, you will go to bat for Loki, and help him find a way to live free and keep the baby. Because right now Thor, you are looking at becoming a single father, raising a newborn alone.”

Thor’s eyes go wide at that proclamation. Tony is right, and Thor doesn’t have a clue how to raise a child. He’d rather face a thousand enemy soldiers on the battlefield unarmed than face single parenthood. A long moment passes.

“You’re observation has merit.” Thor says after a time.

“Glad we are on the same page. Let’s go. We are all meeting back at the tower.”

XxXxXxXxXx

In a large blank room with only a table and chair, Loki sits with Valeria and waits. He rocks the child and sings to her, but she is upset. She senses her mother’s distress.

“This…this is fucked.” Clint shakes his head. “I know Loki needs to be punished for all the people he’s hurt, but that baby didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well our resident golden boy will get to learn how to put on diapers and clean baby bottles. She’s got two parents, and that one is going to be put away for a very long time.” Nick says as he looks at Loki through the two way mirror.

“It’s going to be a nightmare to get that baby away from him.” Natasha says. “Someone’s going to get killed. Loki will not part with her.”

“Loki cannot part with her. He is her only source of nutrition.” Thor says as he enters the room.

“They make baby formula. It comes in cans.”

“For human children. Loki is Jotunn and our child is half-Jotunn, half-Aesir. She has needs your people cannot provide for.” As if on cue little Valeria cries and nuzzle at Loki’s chest. It is time for her feeding. Loki looks around the room, looks at the stupid mirror. He knows he’s being watched and he really hates that other people are about to see him in a very embarrassing state. But the needs of his darling girl come first. Still only clad in a bath robe, Loki lowers the shoulder down to expose one of his breasts.

“It’s blue time little one.” He coos quietly to his daughter. He turns blue and she latches on, drinking greedily as he strokes her soft little head. He sings a lullaby to her, one Frigga used to sing.

“Fuck I can’t do this. I’m out.” Clint takes off. Bruce looks haunted as he watches the little blue family in the next room.

“Well be that as it may, we can get Loki a breast pump. He’s going to prison.” Nick says.

“Depriving my daughter of her mother would be unwise.” Thor says with a dark tone. Nick’s one eye arches. He knows a threat when he hears one.

“Oh? And why is that?”

“The line of succession is clear. With Loki and me both banished the next person in line for the throne is my daughter. My father is a very old man. He was supposed to retire a few years ago, but Loki botched my coronation and set all of this into motion. My father is not long for this world. He might last another couple of decades. I know that sounds like a long time to mortals but to my people it is but a blink of an eye. She will be the Queen of Asgard, ruler of its people, and leader of its armies. Again, I say to you, depriving her of her mother is unwise.”

“You ungrateful son of bitch!” Nick says incredulously.

“Nick…Nick Thor is right.” Tony says.

“You’re siding with this motherfucker?”

“Look, Thor and Loki are both banished to earth until mommy and daddy both deem that they have gotten their shit together. They can’t do that if one of them is locked away. Thor can’t go home until he becomes worthy of Mjolnir. As for Loki…I mean do you really have faith that the human race will be able to keep him locked up successfully for thousands of years? We need to get rid of him, and since killing him isn’t an option, I say we help these two love birds earn their ticket back home.” Tony says.

“Since when is killing Loki off the table?” Nick says.

“Since my father decreed that Loki must pay recompense to Midgard for his crimes, not be executed for his crimes. If you kill him you will bring down the wrath of Asgard upon your world.” Thor says.

“I see.” Nick says, barely containing his rage. He storms out of the room.

 


	7. Mistakes Were Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The argument Loki and Thor should have had years ago. Enjoy!

Steve entered the cell alone and calmly sat down across from Loki, smiling politely.

“Are you here to take my baby from me?” Loki asks.

“No.” Steve says.

“What are you going to do with me?” Loki asks.

“We haven’t quite figured that out. We’ve been arguing, damn near came to blows at one point. But it’s been decided that we are not going to lock you up.”

“And who do I have to thank for this benevolence?” Loki asks.

“Thor. He didn’t want his child deprived of her mother.”

“Thor? He fought for me?” Loki can’t believe it.

“He fought for your daughter. Look, we don’t want to toss you and your baby into a prison cell, but we can’t exactly let you go and pretend we never saw you either.” Steve says.

“So what do you suggest?” Loki asks.

“I don’t know.” Steve scrubs his hand across his face, feeling lost and unsure. “As you can understand, we feel the need to monitor you. We need to know that you are keeping busy raising the baby and not doing other things, like trying to kill people.”  
The sound of the intercom crackles with static and Tony’s voice comes on.

“He’s staying with us here at the tower. Clint and Nat are already back at Loki’s place grabbing Loki’s clothes and the baby’s crib. There’s an empty bedroom next to Thor and Bruce. Thor can be in the baby’s life and we can all watch Loki. Win-win.”

“You can’t be serious.” Loki says.

“It’s a generous offer. Take it. Look, you and Thor need to sort things out and at least here at the tower we’ll be around to mediate things. Keep things from getting too heated. Okay?” Steve says. Loki nods.

“And you are alright with this arrangement?” Loki asks. Steve makes a face.

“Loki, you’ve done horrible things. If you want to be a good example for your baby now’s the time to make those changes. You haven’t caused any trouble this past year and so long as that trend continues, we won’t have to do anything unpleasant.”

“Alright, but Valeria gets her own room when she is big enough.” Loki crosses his arms like this is a negotiation.

“Fine.” Steve says. “Come on. It’s late and everyone is tired.”

“Where is Thor?” Loki asks. “I’m surprised he hasn’t sought me out yet.”

“We haven’t let him seek you out. Today has been traumatic enough on you and the baby. Thor can wait until morning to meet the baby and talk to you.”

“Thank you for that. I thought…back at my apartment. I thought I was dead, and my daughter both.”

“We were expecting a trap.”

“How did you find me?”

“The pizza guy recognized you.” Steve says. Loki purses his lips.

“I’m in desperate need of sleep.”

“Well, the good news is, your new accommodations are just one floor up.” Steve stood up and walked towards the door, bidding Loki to follow. Loki felt anxious about this good turn of events. He didn’t trust it.

Loki was amazed by the lack of armed escorts as they left the holding cell and walked towards the elevator. The ride up one floor was very short. Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Natasha were all there waiting. Thor had been sent to his room.

“I grabbed everything I thought was important. Tomorrow we can head back over and get the rest.” Clint says.

“You are being monitored of course, but there are no armed soldiers here, save us.”

“You’re very trusting.” Loki says like he doesn’t believe that statement at all.

“We’re not actually. And don’t think for a moment we’ll underestimate you just because you have a baby in your arms. We told Thor that he could meet with you and the baby in the morning, with us chaperoning of course.”

“Thank you. You are being kind. You didn’t have to be.”

“We know.” Natasha says. Loki turns and enters the bedroom that has been selected for him. It is large and has its own on suite bathroom, if not for the lack of a kitchen it would be an apartment in its own right. Then again, this is New York. Valeria’s crib is set up right next to the nice large bed, but Loki still feels vulnerable. He places Valeria in her crib, pulling up her blanket to keep her warm. He then turns and pushes the bed frame of his new bed all the way across the room to the door, blocking it. He knows if these people really want in they can get in, but at least if they try he’ll hear them now. He wouldn’t put it past any of them to try to snatch Valeria while he is sleeping. He takes the pillows and assembles them into a circular nest on the bed. He walks back to the crib and gets Valeria and takes her to the bed with him. Loki falls asleep curled up around her with his hand touching her arm.

XxXxXxXxXx

The following morning Loki moved his bed back and got ready. Aside from a few clothes that are still in the hamper back at his apartment, Clint and Natasha managed to grab everything, including Loki’s toothbrush and hairbrush.

Loki picked out a cute little green dress to put Valeria in. Her little head band was also green with a pink rosebud on it. She squealed as Loki tried to put it on her, and then decided she wanted to know what her foot tasted like. Loki decided to wear his tunic and yoga pants. The tunics he has he picked up at a bizarre downtown. The detailing on them is more hippie dippy than is Loki’s taste but they are comfortable and remind him of home. He puts on a green one to match his daughter. Loki lets his long hair hang free. Valeria loves to knot her fingers in it…and eat it. It almost reaches Loki’s waist now, and is straight and thick.

“Alright little one. Time to go meet your Father.” Loki walks out of his bedroom and follows the smell of cooking bacon to the common area where everyone is gathered. Thor rises from his seat and his eyes go directly to the little blonde girl in Loki’s arms and he smiles.

He approaches Loki slowly, stopping a good distance from him, not wanting to spook him. Little Valeria looks up at Thor with her big blue eyes and smiles a big toothless grin.

“She’s beautiful.” Thor says.

“She’s precious to me.” Loki says, trying not to grip his daughter too tightly. They stand there and stare at one another.

“You must be hungry. Breakfast is just about ready. Come eat with us.”

“Alright.”

Loki follows Thor to the dining room, along with everyone else. Coffee, orange juice, a breakfast casserole of sorts, fresh fruit, bacon, and toast are all laid out. The casserole gets passed around and everyone serves themselves. It’s good. It is egg, potato, ham, onions, olive, and tomato. Loki grabs a little sliver of strawberry and lets Valeria gum it.

“Is that yummy? Yes it is. Isn’t it.” He coos at her. Loki’s sweetness towards his child helps cut through what is an otherwise silent and weird feeling breakfast. Loki’s behavior is so shocking to them. Aside from Thor, none of them have ever seen him act so normal and domestic. It clashes greatly with the portrait of the villain they all know. Thor is sitting next to Loki and watching his daughter. He aches to hold her but knows Loki will not hand her over to anyone right now.

“What is her name?” Thor asks Loki.

“Valeria.”

“It’s a good name Loki. Was the birth difficult?”

“No, surprising but not difficult. I didn’t feel her at all and didn’t know I was pregnant.”

“Did your belly not grow?”

“It did but I thought I was just getting fat. I ate a lot of ice cream. Even then it was nothing more than a minor bulge not a round noticeable form.”

“How did she come out exactly? I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that. I’m just curious about your alien anatomy.” Bruce says.

“It is alright. While I am male in appearance on the outside I do possess internal female organs. My belly button is my birth canal. Since she did not have to pass through the opening of a female pelvic bone the birth only took about an hour. My muscles in my stomach dilated and stretched and she slipped free from me with relative ease.”

“So it didn’t hurt?” Thor asks.

“Well, yes. It hurt. It hurt quite a lot. It was the most severe cramping I have ever felt in my life.” More awkward silence followed. Valeria nuzzled at Loki’s chest and made mewling sounds. It is time for her second breakfast. Loki doesn’t hesitate. He turns blue and lifts up his shirt and lets her latch on right there in front of everyone.

“Why do you turn blue?” Bruce asks.

“This is my natural form. The camouflage makes breastfeeding more difficult. Aesir male nipples are not really designed for this particular function.” Valeria turns blue as well. She’s lighter than Loki in her shade. She is more of an ice blue where Loki is almost purple.

“If it is alright Loki, I would very much like to hold her later.” Thor says. Loki sighs.

“We need to talk Thor. After I’m done feeding Valeria, I’ll put her down for a nap.” Loki tone has an ominous ring and everyone sits up a little straighter. They know that their little talk is going to be very heated. The others have already discussed ground rules on the interaction.

After breakfast Loki puts Valeria in her crib and shuts the door to the room and returns to the common area. Thor friends are all present.

“Right. We need to talk.” Loki says.

“Before you two get started, we have some rules for the both of you.” Steve interjects. Thor and Loki both turn to look at him.

“Rule number one. No physical contact. There will be no punching, no stabbing, no killing, or other things.” Steve lets that last one hang in the air as he looks at Thor.

“Rule number two. No name calling. No baiting.” Steve looks at Loki. “Since there is a baby sleeping in the next room I don’t have to tell you to keep the shouting to a minimum.”

“And if either of you break these rules the discussion will be over and we will pull you apart.” Tony adds. “Agreed?”

“Agreed.” They reply. Thor and Loki look at each other again, and again the room fills with silence.

“So, how are you?” Thor asks. Loki rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, but he doesn’t answer right away. He considers his response.

“Better than I should be I suppose, given all that has happened. Valeria has given me back a measure of happiness and purpose that I’ve been lacking for a while.”

“You mean killing your time by trying to kill me?”

“I never wanted to kill you. Not really.” Loki whispers and looks down at his shoes.

“OH REALLY?...(Thor adjusts his volume down) Oh really? Because you had me pretty well fooled Loki. I begged you to come home during the Chitauri invasion. I begged you to come home after you escaped prison. I begged you to stop the second time you buried the dagger into my rib cage during the Dire Wolves attack. And then again when you ran my left shoulder through with that spear during your little attempt to turn all the world’s fresh water into salt water. And then you stabbed me in the ribs again with your most recent serpent attack.”

“I never aimed for the heart.” Loki says.

“Never aimed for the heart? Each time you launched an attack was a direct blow to my heart Loki!”

“Thor…” Steve whispers.

“And what of your blows to my heart. All these years you claimed to hold a secret desire for me when it was you that called me ergi during my adolescent years.”

“That was thousands of years ago. You seriously cannot still harbor grievances for the stupid petty things I did when I was a boy.”

“Yes I can! You made me feel like a freak! You made me believe that I was alone in my desires and affections. It was bad enough that I believed that you were my true brother and that my feelings for you were wrong. You compounded them. So yes Thor, after all these years, I still hold a grudge.”

“And how was I to know the secret desires of your heart? I am not a mind reader Loki. Nor does it explain why you kept trying to kill me.”

“I wanted to destroy what I couldn’t have.” Loki says. “I didn’t even fully understand my own motivations until that day when you had me naked on my belly. I’d trained myself not to think of you in lustful terms, but that desire never went away. I just buried it deep. I played at wanting to kill you, but I really just want to see you suffer as I have suffered all these years. Looking back now I am amazed you didn’t try something sooner. I was in prison. I was in Asgard, locked up and at your mercy. Why did you not come to me then and confess your own desires?” Loki asks. Thor just stands there and for the first time in this conversation, he looks at his shoes.

“Oh I see. Coward that you are, you still do not want your friends to think of you as ergi like me.” Loki says. “I wonder if Sif knows what you’ve done. If Heimdall has told her about how you pressed me down and shoved your cock into me and rutted me like a bull in heat.”

“Would you have preferred I killed you? Because that was the alternative Loki, and I didn’t know how else to make you stop. Call me a sentimental fool for not killing you the first half dozen times I had the opportunity. For hoping, that deep down you still held some small measure of love for me. People don’t maim the ones they love Loki. You’ve done it to me repeatedly. The betrayal…the constant betrayal has damaged my soul Loki! At what point was I supposed to take the hint? The day I raped you I finally accepted that you had no love in your heart left for me. I couldn’t kill you. In spite of everything I couldn’t kill you, and I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted to make you suffer as you’d made me suffer. I finally acknowledged that whatever we had or might have had was dead.”

“What we might have had…You know, that day in the vault after you had been banished? I went to the vault and picked up the Casket of Ancient Winters. Father saw me and begged me to stop, but it was too late. I knew the truth. He told me who I was and what I was and how I came to be his son. I screamed at him. Odin does everything for a purpose. The man thinks thousands of years ahead. I asked him why he took me. Do you know what he said?”

“No.”

“He said that he had hoped to unite Asgard and Jotunnheim through me, by way of political marriage. After the rape, the ravens came and spoke to me and I asked him why he never followed through with his original plan for me. He said that he knew that forcing me to marry you would have ended badly. Instead of loving you I would have resented you. I would have felt like a broodmare and a whore, taken solely for the purpose of being bred. And where you might have seen each round of mating as love making, I would have seen it as a violation. Odin and Frigga know me that well. So they tried to raise me simply as their other son, equally with you. They failed miserably. I always felt Odin’s slight favoritism towards you. It twisted me inside, knowing you would always be chosen even though they tried to make me feel like I was being given equal consideration. I have hated them for so long for it. It is only now that I see, that they did the best they could. Mistakes were made, yes. But I find my grievance with them now lacks standing.”

“I wish father had carried on with his original plan for you. I wouldn’t have touched you Loki if you felt violated.”

“Oh really? Who’s lying now?” Loki asks. “We were always destined to hate each other I think. I was born the son of your enemy. Whether I was raised on Jotunnheim or in Asgard, we were always destined to end up here, at each other’s throats.”

“Okay! Break time!” Tony interrupts. “You two need to discuss the baby. Loki you’re the mother so you need to lay out some ground rules for Thor.”

“If you want to hold Valeria…you can. But, you have to be sitting on the couch and you can’t be wearing anything hard or sharp like your armor. I will be sitting next to you the entire time.”

“Anything else?” Thor asks.

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”

 


	8. Complications

“Jesus, that was Shakespearean. A Greek tragic cluster fuck.” Tony says as he downs his scotch. He and Bruce are hiding in the lab.

“I still can’t believe that all the shit we’ve been through was all tantamount to a cry for attention. And Thor, he’s never going to apologize for what he did.”

“No he won’t. Even if Thor ever admits to himself that what he did was wrong he’ll never verbalize it.”

“He’s never going to get the hammer back is he?” Bruce asks.

“I don’t think he will. I think we are going to be stuck with Thor and Loki for a very long time.”

“Loki didn’t exactly apologize for all the stuff he did either.”

“Yeah, but at least I could see he feels remorseful, which is a start. Thor’s still too angry. He’s not there yet.” Tony says.

“I’ve never seen love sour so badly. If they’d just fucking talked to each other…”

“That would have required one of them being honest and vulnerable with the other. Loki doesn’t do honest and Thor doesn’t do vulnerable.”

“God damn idiots.”

“Damned gods is more like it. I think Loki was right about them being destined to hate each other.” Tony says.

“Do you think they will be able to act civilly towards one another?” Bruce asks.

“They’d better. That little girl deserves better.”

XxXxXxXx

“Bah…” Valeria cooed.

“Can you say dada? Dada?” Loki asks. He’s on the floor with Valeria in the clubhouse.

“Mmmmmma!” She reaches up and grabs Loki’s nose. It is her favorite pastime.

“That’s mine. You have your own nose.”

“EEEEEEE! Bah Bah Bah.”

“You don’t say?” Loki makes a raspberry in her tummy to make her giggle. It is a nice Saturday spring morning. Clint, Steve, Tony, and Bruce are all on the couch playing some ridiculous video game. Elves don’t look anything like that. Thor is on the couch too, watching the game, and watching Loki and Valeria. Loki can tell Thor is trying not to look like a kicked puppy whenever he looks his way. He was never a very good liar. Except for the ergi thing. He hid that pretty damn well.

“For the love of the Norns Thor, if you want to spend time with her then get over here.” Loki chastises him. Thor walks over and gets down on the floor and lays next to the baby with Loki on the other side. She’s in the middle between her momma and papa, and admiring the looks of the handsome blonde man that is now giving her his full attention. She reaches her chubby little hand out to him and Thor offers up one of his big meat fingers for her to grip.

“So strong you are little one.”

“MMMMBah!”

“Is that so?” Thor’s eyes sparkle as he looks at his daughter. He always imagined he would have many children. Then again, he imagined being there when they were born and creating them out of an act of love. His face falls and his eyes meet Loki’s. They don’t say anything. They don’t want to ruin the moment with quarreling.

“Has mother paid you a visit at all?” Thor asks.

“No. I’m surprised she has managed to stay away. That woman has unbelievable baby fever.”

“I wish we had some of our family heirlooms to give to her. She is a princess of Asgard. She deserves to have the items of our family around her.” Thor says.

“Well hopefully Heimdall is listening and will say something.” Loki looks upwards at the ceiling.

“Ma! Ma!”

“Can you say dada? Dada?” Loki prompts.

“MMMMa!”

“She knows you’re her mother.” Thor says. “Can you say dada? Dada?” Thor says.

“MMMMbbbbb..Da!”

“Traitor.” Loki says to his darling girl. Steve’s phone rings and the game goes on pause.

“Yeah. Where? When did that happen? Okay. Natasha’s out shopping but everyone else is here. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. I guess Thor could stay behind.” Steve looks over at the little family on the floor. “Strike that. I’ll have Bruce stay behind.” Steve hangs up the phone.

“Clint get a hold of Natasha and find out where she is. We’ll need to do a pick up. Bruce you’re staying behind. Thor you’re with us.” Thor makes a face that clearly says he insulted by the insinuation that he cannot be left alone with Loki. Loki makes a face about not being left alone at all.

“What happened?” Tony asks.

“There was a break in at a cybertronics lab in Virginia. Nick thinks it was Doom. SHIELD is tracking the plane that took off from the roof.”

“Do we know what Doom was after?” Tony asks.

“No, SHIELD is doing an inventory to find out what was stolen.” Steve says. “Everybody suit up. We take off in ten minutes.”

XxXxXxXxXx

About an hour and a half later the jet touches down in front of a warehouse in the middle of rural Virginia.

“Why are evil villains always holed up in warehouses? It’s so cliché.” Tony complains.

“Not everyone can have your style Stark.” Clint says.

“That is true.” He replies.

“What do you think?” Natasha asks as she surveys the building.

“Tony do a fly around and drop Clint off on the roof. Thor, Nat, you’re with me.” Tony grabs Clint and takes off into the air. He circles the building once to check for bad guys before land on the roof. The others run to the building, hiding in corners, and shadows as they go. They reach a locked door and have to stop. Normally this is the part where Thor uses Mjolnir to ‘unlock’ the door. Unfortunately that tool is no longer available. Thor shoves his sword into the joint of the door and tries to cut the lock with the blade. Instead he is rewarded with a bent blade that is now useless.

“Thrice damned Midgardian weaponry!”

He has to use his bare hands instead. Thor grabs the handle and yanks hard. The metal of the door buckles quite a bit, but he has to tug on it two more times before the door comes completely off its hinges. Thor tosses it aside like a tin can.

They enter quickly, clearing the rooms as they go. It isn’t until they are deep within the building that they make contact with Doom and his toadies. Gunfire erupts and the team takes cover. Steve and Natasha take out a several men quickly as Thor lays aside his metal boomerang and uses his power over the lightning to electrocute his foes. Tony and Clint join the fray from above, picking off snipers in the above rafters.

The team notices the dead bodies laid out on morgue slabs with wires and tubes coming out of their bodies.

“What the fuck is this place?” Tony asks over the comm.

“No place we want to be.” Hawkeye says. “Doom, up top, twelve o’clock.”

Doom pulls out a little switch from his pocket and presses the button on top.

“Shit I think he has a bomb!” Hawkeye yells right before an ear piercing sound drops everyone to their knees. Except for Tony, whose suit is filtering out the sound.

Tony fires a weapon at Doom, but Doom dodges the blow and in turn shoots streams of electricity at Iron Man.  
Unfortunately, Tony’s suit does not absorb the charge like it does when Thor zaps him. He loses power and crashes to the ground.

“And now for the rest of you.” Doom aims at Thor, but the electrical surge does not harm him. Thor smiles up at Doom and removes one of his hands from his ears.

“My turn!” Thor takes the bolt of electricity and shoots it right back at Doom with tenfold the power. Doom shrieks in pain and flees, leaving the ear piercing sound weapon behind. Hawkeye is the closest to the device. He rips out the comm devices in his ears to lessen the pain. It helps a lot. He crawls to the device and shuts the damn thing off.

“Awwwww…” Everyone sighs in relief now that the horrid sound is gone. Unfortunately, so is Doom.

 


	9. Baggage

The team returns to the tower to find Bruce watching the history channel as Loki and Valeria dose on the couch. Loki is laying down with Valeria on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as she sleeps. Loki’s long black hair is splashed across the pillow, with a small handful twisted in between Valeria’s little fingers. He looks at peace. Loki even has a small smile gracing his unconscious face.

“Thor.” Bruce whispers.

“Yes?” He says softly.

“I think there is a delivery for you out on the balcony. It showed up a few minutes ago. I didn’t want to wake Loki.”

“Delivery?” Thor walks to the sliding glass door and lets himself outside. Sitting atop the Bifrost imprint which is now permanently etched into Tony’s building is a pile of swag.

The pile is filled with the toys of his and Loki’s youth. Baby blankets, clothing, a gold and jewel encrusted baby rattle are just a few of the items. However, one item stands out like a sore thumb.

“Jarnbjorn!” Thor exclaims as he picks up the old battle axe of his youth. It was the very first weapon he ever trained with. It does not look nearly as impressive as it did all those years ago when he was shorter and without facial hair. Nevertheless its construction is far superior to anything he has had while on Earth and he is grateful to have it.

“Thank you.” Thor mouths to the sky. He doesn’t know if the axe was gifted by Odin, Frigga, or slipped in by Heimdall as an extra. Thor swings the axe to familiarize himself with the feel of it. It makes him smile.

“Someone took pity on you I see.” Loki says as he surveys the pile of baby items. He set Valeria down on her blanket on the floor to finish her nap. His heart aches when he sees his own baby blanket folded neatly atop the quilt from his bedchambers back home. There are even a few personal items for Loki hidden in amongst the baby items. Surely Frigga’s doing. Loki bursts into tears at the sight of them.

“Is something wrong?” Thor asks. He feels concern. Concern he does not want to feel at Loki’s distress. Loki simply shakes his head.

“I’d forgotten how much I’ve lost.”

“Of course you forgot. You cannot even see what you’ve lost when it is standing right in front of you.” Thor says.

“And what did you lose? Your precious hammer? Is that all you care about?”

“It is all I should care about. I don’t want to care about you Loki. Caring about you causes me nothing but pain, and yet no matter what I do to protect my heart from you I am forced to deal with you.”

“What’s the matter Thor? Don’t like having me around? Do I make you feel guilty when you look at me?”

“You make me long for a life that can never be. More is the pity for our daughter who will have to grow up watching us fight.”

“You’re a monster! You feel no remorse for what you did to me do you?”

“And why should I?! Let’s compare notes shall we? I called you ergi when I was a boy, you betrayed me and sabotaged my coronation. I raped you, you tried to kill me, one, two, three, four, five, six times! And that doesn’t even take into account the countless scores of innocents you slaughtered. So who’s the monster here? You are not innocent Loki! Take your pathetic victim’s lament and cry me a river of pity. I have none!”

“FUCK YOU!” Loki charges Thor and throws a punch…which Thor catches in one of his massive palms. He squeezes Loki’s smaller hand with his larger one and pulls Loki in for a hug, not out of sentiment for to restrain Loki’s movements.

“You are the mother of my child and so I will not lay my hands on you. But if you try to hit me again I will defend myself.” Thor growls into Loki’s ear.

“HEY! BREAK IT UP! BOTH OF YOU!” Steve yells. Thor releases Loki and the two take several steps away from each other to cool off. Tony thought it might be a good idea to let the two have a couple minutes alone to talk. He said it might be good for them. Yeah right. Loki runs back inside crying as dark storm clouds gather overhead. Lightning flashes and thunder booms, but the rain does not come. All of the baby items are still outside.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

For a week Thor and Loki completely avoid each other. The closest they come to interacting is when Valeria is on the floor trying to crawl and Thor is lying beside her, encouraging her. He is so joyful when he is with her.

Fed up with the intense feeling in the air, Loki decides he and Valeria are going to the park. They haven’t been outside since they came to the tower and the trip is long overdue. Loki looks into the mirror and pulls on a convincing illusion of a human female.

“What are you doing?” Tony asks.

“I’m taking Valeria to the park. We both could use some fresh air and sunshine, and I need to get away from this place for a while.”

“Why do you change into a woman though? Why not just put on a man’s face?”

“I could but then I would make quite the scene if Valeria got hungry, which she often does on these outings.” Loki says with a new higher pitched female voice.

“Someone will have to go with you.” Tony says.

“Oh please. I’ve had ample opportunity to escape you people, and yes, I’ve thought about it. I’ve thought about it a lot. But I do not want to run the risk of getting caught and then separated from my child, so I’m here. Your escort is not necessary.” Loki says.

“Well then let me accompany you so you have someone to talk to.” Tony says. Loki turns and looks at Tony. His fake female eyes narrow to assess the human’s intent.

“Alright.”

Loki binds Valeria to his chest and carries her as he walks to the park. Tony walks beside him.

“That blow up you and Thor had was pretty bad.” Tony says. “Want to talk about it?”

“No. I don’t want to talk about it. He’s such a self-righteous asshole.” Loki says. He tries to not keep talking, but like a floodgate his mouth opens and spews out all the hurt.

“I could apologize a thousand times over and it would not make a difference. He hates me. He doesn’t care that he hurt me, that I have nightmares. I dream I’m alone in the middle of a frozen wasteland with no one else around for eternity.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Loki.”

“Do you ever have nightmares from what I did to you?” Loki asks.

“All the time, more so now that you are here at the tower.” Tony says. Loki stops them in their tracks and looks Tony right in the eye.

“I am sorry. I am sorry for all of it. I convinced myself that I was alone and unloved and wanted to destroy the person I wanted the most. It was childish. The temper tantrum of a spoiled prince. I believed this delusion so utterly that I could not see the love that was standing right in front of me. I hurt Thor. I twisted his heart with the blackness of my own. And what hurt the most was not the physical act of violation, but the hatred that enabled him to carry it out. I should have listened when he begged me to come home.”

“I am glad to hear to you say that. It means a lot Loki, and I know that I and the others at the tower will feel a lot better about having you around.”

“Thor won’t. Things are getting worse between us, not better. I don’t know how to go back, or if Thor is capable of ever forgiving or letting go.”

“Why haven’t you said this stuff to Thor?”

“The last thing Thor needs is for me to validate his feelings. If I admit that he was right he’ll never own up to the wrong that he’s done. He’ll never be worthy of Mjolnir again.”

“That’s…amazingly sweet considering what he did to you. Why do you even care if he becomes worthy again or not? I mean, it’s just a magic hammer.”

“Mjolnir is so much more than a magic hammer. Do you know how rare it is for anyone to be worthy of such a gift? There are very few in the universe that can lift it. The person Thor is when he is worthy of her is glorious and beautiful. All the things I secretly loved about him were traits that Mjolnir found pleasing...and I destroyed that part of him. I thought it would free me of him somehow.”

They arrive at the park and Loki unfurls a blanket for them to sit on. The sky is blue with little white clouds dotted here and there. People are everywhere enjoying the weather. Loki frees Valeria from the binding and puts her down on her stomach on the blanket. She makes little excited baby sounds as she tries to push and coordinate her limbs to synchronize.

“She’s almost got it figured out.” Tony says.

“If not for her Thor would have killed me already. I am lucky he is merely indifferent.” Loki says.

“He’s not indifferent Loki. He wants you to think he is, but he’s too angry to be indifferent, which means he still cares.”

“He hates me.”

“Do you hate him?”

“Yes, and no. What I feel doesn’t really matter anymore.”

“That’s not true Loki.”

 


	10. Mud Slinging

Loki and Tony return from their trip to the park to the stares of the rest of the team. Loki slips back into his normal appearance and regards Thor with a resigned acceptance. He knows what he must do, for the sake of his daughter, his pride and righteous anger be damned.

“Anthony would you mind watching Valeria for a little bit? I need to speak with Thor.” Loki asks politely.

“Yeah sure.” Tony takes the little girl into his arms and smiles at her. She’s so damned cute when her spit bubbles up on her lip like that. Thor sits up at Loki’s words.

“Would all of you mind giving us our privacy?” Loki asks.

“We’ll be in the next room.” Steve says. Everyone is hesitant but they do as they are asked and file out of the room. Loki sits down on the couch near Thor and faces him, his hands folded neatly in his lap. He looks down at his hands, searching for the words he knows he needs to say. The tension in this place is too much. It needs to stop.

“I know you are angry, and rightly so, and that my apology comes far too late, but I have come to say I’m sorry for what I put you through. I am sorry I didn’t listen to you. We can’t keep fighting like this. Valeria is young but she’ll pick up on it as she gets older. You and I need to form a truce, for her sake. Can you do that?” Loki asks. Thor contemplates Loki’s words. He’s tired. He’s tired of being angry all the time, and he wants to spend more time with Valeria and do more than just tumble on the floor with her. He nods.

“I can do that.” Thor says. His lips look to move as Thor looks down at his hands searching for words, but they don’t come. The silence carries on. Finally Thor settles on a statement, “Thank you, for not withholding her from me.” He says.

“You’re welcome.” Loki says. He gets up feeling relief. He didn’t get an apology from Thor, but then he hadn’t expected one. He did this for Valeria and to bring peace into this house. Hopefully going forward, life will be a little less stressful.

XxXxXxXxXx

“Cyborgs.” Tony says as he lays out the schematics stolen from the tech firm and the autopsies of the dead bodies found at the warehouse.

“More super soldiers.” Steve laments. It seems to be a recurring theme that all the bad guys want to reproduce the serum that created him.

“He’s trying to create cyborgs that don’t need an external power source to recharge their mechanical components. But human bodies just don’t conduct electricity like that. The interface is failing.” Tony explains.

“Doom can conduct electricity pretty well without getting harmed, unless he faces off with Thor. Thor’s got him beat by a mile. I’m surprised Doom hasn’t tried to clone his own DNA to create these soldiers. He’s got the facilities to pull it off.” Bruce says.

“Not anymore. We’ve got him on the run. We won’t be making any Cyborg soldiers for a while.” Steve says.

XxXxXxXxXx

 

Loki chases after his darling girl as she squeals and runs down the hallway on her chubby little legs. Her little arms flail in excitement. She almost makes her escape, but her big blonde daddy catches her at the other end and scoops her up, making her squeal even louder. Her baby fine blonde hair has beautiful wavy curls in it that now reaches her shoulders. Her big blue eyes can be seen for miles.

“Dadadada!” She fusses to be let down to run again. She takes off again, looking over her shoulder to make sure her mother is still chasing her.

“I’m going to get you!” Loki says.

“EEEEE! Mamamama!” She runs to Steve and hides behind his leg, hugging it like it is a tree trunk.

“Oh ho! You chose the wrong place to take cover little angel.” Steve reaches down and picks her up, tickling her to get a laugh. She screams and squeals and squirms, begging for mama to save her.

“No! No Stebe!” Her little brow furrows and her bottom lip pokes out.

“Oh, she’s angry with you.” Thor says.

“What? You’re not mad at me? Are you Little Bit?” Steve makes sad puppy eyes at little Valeria and she buys it like a sucker. She kisses the soldier on the cheek and squeezes his neck really tight, causing him to choke a bit.

“Your little girl has a strong grip Thor.” Steve says. Thor beams with pride. Steve isn’t just saying that. He’ll have bruises tomorrow. Loki takes Valeria into his arms and snuggles her. He hands her off to Thor for their little father, daughter outing.

“Make sure you take her coat with you. And make sure you take the fish gummy snacks and not the bear gummy snacks. And she can only have one pouch. She’ll get sick on too much sugar if you give her more than that. And make sure she drinks plenty of water. And make sure you keep her away from the sandbox. That thing is filled with diseases.”

“Loki, she’ll be fine. We are simply going to the park.” Thor lies. He’s taking her out to the country to play in the mud. They are going to get absolutely filthy! Clint already left a half hour ago to get the car ready so they can make their escape.

Valeria is nine months old now. The time with her has passed so quickly. Thor picks up Valeria’s diaper bag and slings it over his shoulder. The damn thing is massive. Loki acts like they are going on a space expedition or something.

“Is all of this really necessary?” Thor asks as he pilfers through the bag. “We’re only going to be gone a few hours. Why do I need a dozen diapers?”

“You never know.” Loki says as he crosses his arms. Thor rolls his eyes. Loki can be a little too overprotective. Thor intends to let his baby girl show her tough side today. They are going to go ride something called an ATV. Clint says they are awesome. Thor puts Valeria on his shoulders and grips her little feet as her pudgy hands grip his beard roughly.

“We’ll be back later.” Thor says.

“Be careful! Watch her head. You’re really tall you know!” Loki yells after him.

XxXxXxXxXx

Valeria squishes the chocolate mud pie she made between her little fingers, relishing the feel of it. She is completely naked and covered head to toe in the earthy brown goo. Thor is in a pair of tighty-whities that is no longer white.

“You look like a real hillbilly.” Clint chuckles as he slings an arm around his wife. Clint’s family is a closely guarded secret that not even all the members of the Avengers know about. Clint’s little girl is next to Valeria showing her how to use mud to make a beauty mask. Clint’s son is making mud angels.

“He looks like sasquatch.” Clint’s wife says.

“Loki would have a fit if he saw her right now.” Clint says.

“Which is why this is so much fun.” Thor says. He picks up his baby girl and holds her to his chest. The squishing sounds from the suction between them makes Valeria giggle that happy loud laugh that only a baby can make. Thor looks over at Clint and his wife snuggling in the mud. They have a beautiful life. Their secret little farm and their two beautiful children are a miracle given the type of work Clint does. He lives a warrior’s life, just like Thor. Thor’s face falls. He’s not jealous. He’s not.

 


	11. The Space Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! The feedback on this has been awesome. Kudos to the reader for mentioning baby hand prints for Frigga! There is a leap forward in time in this chapter, so be prepared. I'm starting on the next chapter already, which is going to be a tear jerker so get ready.

Thor, Valeria, and Clint return home just in time for dinner. Loki instantly knows something is up when he plucks his daughter from Thor’s arms. She’s been bathed again and has been rubbed down in a scented baby lotion that is not in the diaper bag.

“Did you have fun at the park?” Loki asks.

“Eeeee! Mamamama!” Valeria laughs. Thor displays a nervous guilty smile. Oh yes, Thor took her somewhere other than the park.

“Did you enjoy your bath too?” Loki asks as his eyes narrow at Thor and scrutinize his face. Thor almost looks the same as when he left, but there is a clod of dirt he missed, caked in his beard and the inside of Thor’s ears are filthy.

“Eeeee! Muddy! ” She squeals. Thor’s face falls and scrunches up like a kid waiting for a fist to impact his face.

“Oh? And why was that?”

“Muddy! Muddy Daddy!” Valeria pronounces the d’s very heavily.

“The mud you say?” Loki shoots Thor a smug look. Busted.

“Valeria, the first rule of playing in the mud is don’t tell your mother.” Thor says gently to her.

“Thor!”

“She’s not made of porcelain Loki. Mother did the same thing with us when we were small.”

“We’re boys.”

“So? Valeria loved it, didn’t you angel?”

“Aaaahhhhheeeee!”

“Be that as it may, you need to tell me these things. What if something had happened? I would have had no idea where you were.”

“Alright.” Thor rolls his eyes, infuriating Loki more.

“Thor I mean it. You and I need to be on the same page with Valeria at all times. What will happen when she gets older and learns to pit us against one another?

You and I have a hard time being civil as it is. We cannot teach her it is okay to go to one parent to ask for something when the other has said no.” Loki folds his arms across his chest, looking huffy. Thor sighs.

“You are right, I just wanted to do something new and less structured with her. It was good for her. You are constantly sanitizing everything she touches. You fear too much.”

“I do not f…...I suppose…that perhaps…certain…standards can be…relaxed.” Loki grits out.

“That is all I ask.” Thor says.

“Very well.”

“Good.”

XxXxXxXxXx

Valeria’s first birthday comes and goes like a whirlwind. Loki makes a present for Frigga by pressing Valeria’s little hands into some plaster of paris. He let the little disk dry and then ties a big green ribbon around it and sets it out on the balcony. It disappears in seconds. Life at the tower carries on. Periodically the Avengers are called away to try to apprehend Victor Von Doom, but the villain is elusive and even seems to be toying with them, testing their weaknesses.

Thor and Loki fight occasionally about Valeria, but never discuss anything else. It’s like a divorced couple that is still living together. However time is not on their side. Every single day all the things that go unsaid build up the momentum of a discussion long overdue. By Valeria’s second birthday Thor and Loki have become masters of not discussing their feelings.

Thor and Loki are curled up on the couch with Valeria sitting between them, holding both mommy and daddy’s hands. Her little legs swing and kick as she watches her favorite Pretty Pretty Princess Pony movie on the television.

“I’m da u-corn ponby pincess mommy!”

“You are a princess darling, and one day you’ll be a great and powerful Queen of your own magical realm. There is a place called Asgard and it is more beautiful and glorious than any place in existence, and you are their princess.” Loki says.

“I’m ponby pincess!” She yells with her fists in the air and giggles.

“We should take her horseback riding some time.” Thor says with a smile. Loki nods and smiles back. They watch the movie, trying not to die of disgust from the throat choking sweetness of the children’s show. A commercial comes on.

“…the mother and child diamond pendant. Only at Tiffany’s. Hurry now before Mother’s Day.”

“Daddy buy that for Mommy!” She points at the television. The husband in the commercial kisses the wife. “Hah! The Daddy kiss the Mommy!” Valeria shouts with excitement. “Kiss the Mommy Daddy! Kiss the Mommy!” She squeals and turns her head up to try to look at them both at the same time. She didn’t know mommies and daddies could kiss! Thor and Loki look at one another in horror.

“What’s wrong Mommy?” She asks. Loki quickly plasters a fake smile on his face for his daughter.

“Nothing darling girl. Mommy is just excited that Daddy is going to kiss him. That’s all.” Loki points to his cheek and shoots Thor a veiled threatening glare. Thor leans in and gives Loki a quick peck on the cheek, making their baby girl screech in delight. Her little hands clap and flail about in excitement.

“Daddy kiss Mommy!” She giggles and jumps off the couch to dance in a circle, which is thankfully short lived. The pony cartoon resumes and their daughter’s attention reverts back to her favorite subject.

Thor looks at Loki. They are alone in the tower. It is a rare occurrence, but one that has been happening more frequently of late. Somewhere in the months of day in and day out trips to the park, finger painting, diaper changing, and quiet nap times they’d figured out how to be a family.

These moments of normalcy come in with a wonderful quiet creep and leave in heart wrenching agony. Every time, when Thor is feeling warmth in his chest and a smile in his eyes, something about Loki makes him remember that not everything is what it is supposed to be…what it could have been.

Things settle down after a while and Valeria doses off. Loki takes the opportunity to change the channel to something a little more adult oriented. Thor isn’t watching the television anymore. He’s watching Loki. Loki senses Thor’s eyes on him and restrains his desire to turn his head and look back. He manages it for several minutes until he can’t take it anymore. He turns his head and meets Thor’s eyes. Thor’s eyes look haunted and full of pain. Hope flutters in Loki’s chest that maybe Thor is ready to apologize and forgive. Perhaps give whatever this is a chance to become something real.

“I wish I could trust you Loki.” Thor whispers, looking absolutely heartbroken. He looks away and down at his feet, clearly about to cry. Loki is not as successful at keeping the tears at bay. One escapes his left eye and rolls down his cheek.

“I wish…you knew what it’s like.” Loki’s voice trails off.

 


	12. Defeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning! The end of this chapter is graphic. But if you've stuck it out with me this far, you can probably handle it.

“Everybody suit up. Doom has been spotted.” Steve says. This time everyone really is going. Loki has been living here long enough. If he was going to run, he would have done it already.

“Where is he this time? An abandoned amusement park?” Tony asks.

“A cave in the Catskill Mountains.” Steve says. Loki and Valeria wave the men off and watch as they go. Thor carries his axe with him confident that this time he will behead the ruthless villain.

“What do we know?” Tony asks.

“He’s been quiet for a while now. Laying low. Which means he’s probably been developing something new.”

“The Cyborgs. If he made a breakthrough on his design there is no telling how many of them there are.” Bruce says.

“They will smash just as easily as any other man or robot.” Thor says. Bruce smiles at that. After a few minutes of flying they touch down in a rugged mountainside.

“Are we still in New York?” Tony asks. He’s not used to seeing nature.

“Intel says it’s this way.” Natasha says.

“Anybody notice the lack of guards or henchmen?” Clint asks.

“Yeah. Yeah I noticed that too.” Steve says. “Tony do a fly around and tell us what you see.”

“On it.” Tony blasts off. He’s up in the air for several minutes but sees nothing.

“I don’t like this. Are you sure we are in the right place?” Tony asks.

“I smell a trap. We should leave.” Clint says. Suddenly they are lit up by gunfire and Clint takes a direct hit to his left shoulder and goes down. Natasha drags him behind a tree.

“Cap! Should I hulk out?” Bruce yells.

“Not yet!” Steve replies.

“Do you think you can make it back to the jet?” She asks Clint. She grabs his sidearm for him and stuffs it into his hand.

“Stay hidden. Stay safe.” She says.

Explosions go off as Tony fires from above and Doom’s goons take cover in the mouth of a well-hidden cave.

“Do we follow?” Natasha asks.

“No. They are trying to draw us in, and Clint is injured.” Steve says. “We pull back and plant charges at the mouth of the cave and seal in whoever is in there.” He says. Just then they hear a woman scream bloody murder.

“Help! Help me! Ahhhhhhhh!”

“Fuck.” Tony says.

“It’s definitely a trap.” Steve says.

“Well, let us go die to rescue fair maiden. It will be fun. Songs will be sung about our glory.” Thor says.

“Screw glory, I want to live.” Natasha says as she darts towards the cave knowing it’s a suicide mission. She takes down a couple of really big guys with really big guns. The sound of gunfire ceases for the moment. The others advance, minus Clint. They enter the mouth of the cave and see nothing at first. The team darts behind stalagmites, walls, and large rocks as they go. The cave is lit by a single electric cable and a series of industrial lights on the ceiling at equal intervals. They follow the tunnel, keeping an eye open for the woman they heard.

They come to an open space where the interior of the cave opens up to a big wide room. This room is not naturally occurring but was made by blasting into the mountain. Doom is standing there waiting for them, bold as brass.

Electricity sparks up and down Thor as he calls upon the lightning.

“Thor don’t!” Tony yells.

“What is wrong?”

“Look at the floor. You’ll electrocute all of us.” Bruce says. The floor is covered in metal. “Let me get him.”

“No. You could bring down the whole mountain on top of us.”

“Ah! Help me. Help me!” Doom says as he holds up a voice augmenter to his throat. He pulls it away and chuckles low and deep.

“Fuck you!” Natasha says. Damsel in distress motherfucker.

“Well Victor, you brought us here. What do you want?” Steve yells.

“To tell you all about my evil diabolical plan of course, down to every last detail.”

“I agree with Natasha. Fuck you!” Bruce says.

“My, aren’t we snippy.” Doom says.

“Anybody else feeling really drowsy?” Natasha asks, before dropping.

“Nat!” Tony yells. “Jarvis what are we dealing with?”

“The air here only contains half the amount of oxygen needed to sustain life. The carbon monoxide level in here is high. Your suit is protecting you, but Lady Romanova does not have that advantage. Likewise, the others will eventually succumb to the effects of the gas as well.”

“We need to leave.” Steve says and then starts to cough.

“Going so soon? Try to leave and I’ll fry all of you.”

“What do you want?” Steve coughs.

“To kill all of you of course. And rule the world, but details aren’t important right now.” Doom says. A tentacle robot contraption, resembling a skeletal octopus appears behind Doom. “Seize him.” He orders. At first everyone thinks Doom is after Steve or Tony, but it is Thor that the giant metal squid detains. Thor swings his axe and manages to chop off one of the robot arms, but the weapon is yanked from his hand by another. It grabs Thor’s wrists and snaps a collar around his neck. Thor calls on the lightning to disable the mechanical being but the current gets redirect back into Thor, electrocuting him. He goes limp, unconscious from pain and lack of air.

Bruce has no choice. He hulks out. His growing form smashes into the ceiling of the cave and he roars in anger and pain. Doom shoots at the ceiling above the green beast. The metal octopus takes off down a narrow corridor with Thor’s body as the others run back out the way they came. Tony has Natasha, with Steve following behind. Hulk picks up a giant boulder and flings it at Doom, forcing the villain to run. Hulk picks up several more large chunks of rock and hurls them, but Doom escapes down a hatch to safety. He wants to pursue the little metal man, but Hulk cannot breathe. He pants and grunts like a bear about to enter hibernation. He has to leave.

The Hulk cannot fit down the tunnel that Bruce used. He has to change back, but he also needs to stay awake. He stumbles down the path as he shrinks back to his human form. He collapses at the opening of the cave on his hands and knees. The others are there.

Natasha is still out cold and Steve is sitting on his butt gasping for air. Tony is the only one still fully functional, which is a good thing, because they are drawing fire. Tony fires at the half a dozen men letting loose a barrage of fire on their position. Tony fires back with bullets, hand blasts, and shoulder missiles. He manages to kill them all singlehandedly.

“Let’s go.” Tony grabs Bruce and Natasha both as Steve staggers out of the cave. They make for the jet where Clint is waiting, suffering from blood loss. Tony secures his teammates quickly and plops down into the pilot’s chair and takes off.

“He got Thor.” Steve says and coughs hard. Now that they are safe Bruce has fallen into sleep, next to Natasha who is coming around but moaning in agony. Her head is beating like a snare drum.

“Clint needs medical attention, you guys are down, and I’m about out of ammunition. We need to regroup.” Tony says.

“He’s getting away.” Steve pants.

“I know.” Tony says.

XxXxXxXxXx

Thor opens his eyes to mere slits. The light is too bright and his head is pounding. He takes a deep cleansing breath as he comes to. He knows he’s in a bad situation, because his body is dangling free in the air in the middle of a room. His arms are up over his head in heavy duty cuffs and the collar is still around his neck. His toes are just barely brushing against the floor, and he’s completely naked.

“Well hello there princess.” Doom says. Thor looks around and notices that the room they are in looks like a lab, much like Tony’s.

“Let me go.” Thor bellows.

“Eventually, once I’m done experimenting on you. I’m going to enhance you Thor. Give you new body parts and a new purpose. Your new objective will be to serve me, but first I need some samples, just in case my experiments aren’t as successful as I hope.” Doom says. A couple of sinister looking men in lab coats appear on the periphery of Thor’s vision. They snap on latex gloves and pull out syringes and other lab instruments. One of them stabs Thor in the thigh and draws multiple vials of blood. The other takes a punch biopsy cutter and cuts out a small chunk of Thor’s arm, without anesthesia. Thor grunts in pain at the extraction. Blood trickles down his arm and armpit from the small hole.

“And what do you plan to do with all of that?”

“Clone you possibly. Make an army of super strong cyborg warriors.”

“Why me?”

“Because of your ability to conduct electricity of course. Your natural ability to wield it without being harmed is useful in certain applications.” Doom says. One of the lab technicians then pulls out what looks like a volt meter…and a large metal phallus. Thor’s eyes go wide.

“In case you are wondering what that is for, it is an electrified cattle ejaculator. It’s used to collect semen. Of course a hand-job would net the same result but my people are not in the business of pleasuring their enemies, and you might not exactly be cooperative anyway. I’ll leave you to it.” Doom says to his men and leaves the room.

The two men look at Thor with the look mean little children get right before they use a magnifying glass to fry ants.

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” Thor yells.

“Relax. You might enjoy this.” One of them says. Thor yanks at the cuffs binding his from above, but it only makes his whole body swing awkwardly. He tries to kick but his feet are tethered. One of the men comes before Thor and lifts his cock and holds an open jar at the end of it. He stands there looking bored. The other goes behind Thor.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Thor roars, but they don’t listen. Thor feels his cheeks part as a large smooth lubed instrument is placed at his entrance. “STOP! STOP! AH!” Thor yells as the long metal shaft is pushed into him. Once fully seated the man behind him steps away and grabs the volt meter.

“Ever wonder what it feels like to have a lightning bolt shoved up your ass?” The one henchman says to the other.

“No, but he’s about to find out.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 


	13. Appearances

Loki knew something was wrong when Nick Fury and several medical personnel arrived at the tower. He knew it was Thor when Nick did not speak to him to address the unspoken question of who was injured. He picked up Valeria and held her close as the team came down off the elevator and shoved Clint into the awaiting arms of the medical team. He waited while holding his breath to see Thor’s face, but it never appeared. The look in Tony’s eyes sent a shiver up Loki’s spine.

“Where is Thor?” Loki asks. He doesn’t even know how he’d feel if Tony told him that Thor is dead. His darling little girl will be without her golden father, whom she loves dearly. But for Loki himself…would he mourn his rapist? Should he? In the thousands of years they have known each other it was only the last five or so that went horribly wrong.

“Doom got him. Took him alive, but we don’t know why. We almost didn’t make it out. Clint got shot and the rest of us suffered carbon monoxide poisoning. Steve, Bruce, and Natasha are still recovering. I’m the only one that got away unscathed.” Tony says. Loki can tell by his haggard face that the fight had fallen on his shoulders. But Loki doesn’t care at this moment.

“Get back out there and find him! He’s getting away! He’s getting away with the father of my child!”

“Is Dada coming home Mommy?” Her little doe eyes well up with tears. She can tell something is wrong. Loki takes her to their bedroom to sooth and coddle her, to little avail. She is a smart little girl.

“Daddy! Daddy! I want my Daddy!” Her loud sobs carry throughout the floor. Tony marches to the bar and pours himself a scotch, downing it in one big swallow. He goes to the medical bay to find Nick.

“Do we know where they went?” Tony asks Nick.

“We have teams checking out a few locations, but I am not hopeful.” Nick says. Steve, Natasha, and Bruce are all on gurneys with oxygen masks on their faces. They all look pissed. They want to go back out and look for Thor, but the medical team will not clear them yet.

“I’m fine now!” Steve protests.

“No you’re not. Put your mask back on.” The nurse says. She puts her hand over his and shoves the thing back over his mouth and nose. A doctor approaches Tony with a chart.

“Are you sure it was just carbon monoxide? They should have all recovered by now.”

“There’s no telling with Doom. I’ll have Jarvis run an analysis of the data he collected.” Tony says. Nick is on and off the phone constantly as intel and data comes in. Tony goes to his lab and has Jarvis run the report.

“Jarvis, besides the carbon monoxide, was there anything else in the air in that cave?”

“Yes sir, small particulates of carbon dioxide, ammonia, and bleach.”

“Ammonia AND bleach? Doom has really gone low rent hasn’t he?”

“I assume that is a rhetorical question sir.” Tony gets on the comm.

“Nick! Hey Nick! Tell the doctors to treat the guys for nerve gas poisoning.”

“Nerve gas? What kind?”

“The kind every housewife in the world can make at home. Ammonia mixed with bleach.”

“Damn, that’s…elegant.”

“No it isn’t!” Tony rakes his hand through his hair. They need to find Thor. They need to find him now.

XxXxXxXxX

The hours tick by far too quickly and when the night comes no one sleeps. With Valeria down for the night, Loki goes out the living room to pace and pour himself a drink. He’s not alone. Tony is there. If it weren’t for the fact that he might be called upon to go and rescue Thor at any second, he would be blitzed out of his mind.

“Pour me one of those would you?” Loki asks.

“Loki can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Your mom and dad, can they help us at all?”

“They can but they won’t. We’re banished.”

“But they sent you all that baby stuff! They’ll send down diapers but not help to save Thor? That’s stupid!”

“It’s the law. Baby items are harmless. It doesn’t really interfere with our lives here. Banishments are serious business. Thor and I are on our own here.”

“But if Thor dies…I mean that would mean your mom and dad just stood by and let it happen! That is seriously fucked up!” Tony says. Loki smirks at that statement.

“I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to hear an outsider’s opinion of our ways.” Loki says as he looks up towards the ceiling. He hopes Heimdall and Odin are choking on it right now. Loki sips his drink quietly until he is interrupted by Steve, who comes running into the living room.

“Turn on the television.” Steve says.

“What is it?” Loki asks.

“It’s a hurricane…on land!”

“That’s Thor! He’ll be at the center of it.” Loki says.

“I’ll get Bruce and Natasha. We’ll go now.” Steve says.

“STOP!” Everyone turns to the unexpected female voice coming from behind them. It came from the fireplace. Loki knows who it is instantly. He’d recognize his mother’s voice anywhere. Frigga’s projection emerges from the fireplace.

“Mother!” Loki hasn’t seen her in so long. Her beautiful face hasn’t changed a day and his heart aches to look at her. There are so many things he’d say, so many apologies he needs to make.

“Loki you must go with them.”

“But Valeria…”

“Will be fine. Thor needs you. You need to be the one to find him Loki. Your friends can help but you need to save him.”

“What has happened?”

“They’re hurting him Loki. They’re hurting him in an unspeakable way.” Frigga says. Loki’s stomach drops. He knows of what she speaks. He didn’t wish that for Thor. He only wanted Thor to know what it felt like to be humiliated, rejected, and brutalized. Shit. Loki nods as the tears glaze his eyes.

“I’ll watch over the child. Go now, before they kill him. They’ll see the storm clouds gathering and they won’t leave him alive.”

“I love you mother. Take good care of her.”

“I will.” Loki and the others take off. They pull Natasha away from Clint’s hospital bed and grab Bruce before heading up to the roof. The jet takes off and Natasha flies towards the great storm gathering in the west.

“Do we know where we are going?” She asks.

“We’ll know it when we see it.” Loki says. The turbulence of their ride gets worse the closer they get to the epicenter. It feels like the plane is about to break apart when suddenly the wind dies down.

“We’re in the eye of the storm now.” Steve says. They all look out the window to see if there are any structures that might be used as the lair of an evil overlord. One stands out like a stick in the mud.

“Oh look, an old abandoned shoe factory.” Tony says. “I mean, is he too cheap to rent a legitimate office space?”

“Running an evil empire is expensive Tony.” Steve says. They are already drawing fire and the jet hasn’t even touched down yet. Loki knows how he can be of use. Loki’s seidr crackles between his fingertips as he chants a powerful spell. An illusion of three other quinjets appear in the air next to their plane, drawing fire away from their vessel.

“I don’t recognize those ships!” Natasha yells.

“That’s because they are fake. I made them.” Loki says. The diversion helps a lot. The anti-aircraft shooters on the ground below now have to divide their ammunition between four targets.

“Open fire on their positions.” Steve says. Natasha engages the missiles and locks target on two ground gun positions. She fires.

It is in moments like this that Tony is grateful for his background in weapons making. They hit both their targets and the immediate threat is neutralized. They land next the building and Loki conjures up a team of illusion lookalikes. The decoys draw fire and the real Avengers, plus Loki attack the remaining henchmen. Loki picks one man up by the throat and crushes his trachea. Once in the building the action calms down considerably. The lights are all on but nobody is home. They search room after room, but find them all empty, that is until they find a door leading to a basement area.

Steve heads down the stairs first expecting an attack but instead finds two lab technicians hiding under a metal table. Their expressions white as ghosts. Steve grabs one by the neck.

“Where are Thor and Victor Von Doom?”

“Doom was just here. You might still catch him. He took that elevator up.”

“And Thor?” Steve asks. The man’s eyes go wide with terror and they look to the left. Steve looks over and sees a door.

“Bruce, Tony, go after Doom. He went up the elevator.” Steve says. Natasha pulls out cuffs to restrain the two lab rats as Steve and Loki walk towards the door. Loki practically rips it off its hinges before entering the room.

Thor is still suspended from the ceiling. He’s awake but something is off. There is blood dripping down from one arm and Thor is not looking up. His eyes are dead and distant as he maintains eye contact with the floor. Loki looks over and sees the large glass beaker on the counter filled with a white substance. Any man would recognize it instantly for what it is. Beside it is the volt meter and the steel dildo. Steve turns white and doesn’t utter a word. This isn’t the first time he’s walked into a horror like this. Steve saw a lot of things back during the war, when he rescued POWs.

“Get out.” Loki whispers.

“Loki, now might not be a good time…”

“I know exactly what he is going through. Do you?” Loki’s eyes bore holes into the back of Steve’s skull. Steve shakes his head.

“Leave us.” Loki orders. Steve debates for a moment whether or not to follow that order, but takes his leave to wait with Natasha. The door closes and Loki and Thor are alone. Loki approaches Thor slowly, like he is a wounded animal.

“Thor? Can you hear me? It’s Loki.” Loki takes a few more careful steps. He lowers his head to get into Thor’s line of sight, but Thor’s eyes dart away.

“Kill me.” Thor whispers.

“No. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get the easy way out.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. You are vulnerable right now. You are humiliated and in pain. You’ve been violated and unmanned.”

“Enjoy your revenge.”

“No Thor. Nothing about this is pleasurable for me. Listen to me. I know you think you will never recover from this but that is not true. Unlike me you will have friends and family around you to help you through this. I was alone. I had no one and no reason to keep on living. I didn’t even know about Valeria. But I found the will to keep going and you can too. You are the Mighty Thor, and in this you will be strong as well.” Loki finds the winch keeping Thor held aloft and pushes the button to release his chains. Thor collapses to the ground in a heap. He curls up into the fetal position and sobs.

Loki doesn’t see the key to release the collar around Thor’s neck. They’ll have to saw it off back at the tower. He reaches for a white sheet instead to cover Thor and give him back some of his dignity. He covers Thor up and reaches his hand out to pet Thor’s hair, but thinks better of it.

“May I touch your hair?” Loki asks. Thor nods once. Loki strokes his fingers through Thor’s blonde locks, pulling some loose strands away from Thor’s face. “It’s going to be alright. I know you don’t believe that now and that is okay. It is okay to be broken for a while.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. Let’s go home.” Loki helps Thor up into the sitting position but stops when Thor winces and bursts into tears. “I’m going to put my hand under your arm to help lift you alright?” Loki asks. Thor nods. Loki helps him to stand and wraps the white sheet around Thor’s waist like a skirt, tying a large knot at the side. Loki knows from experience that Thor is going to be walking funny, which will compound the humiliation.

“Lean on me as you walk. It will make the limp less noticeable and embarrassing.” They exit the lab area and enter where Steve, Natasha, and Thor’s tormentors are located. Thor’s face turns to stone at the sight of them.

“Thor look at me. You are a good man. You were once worthy of Mjolnir and can be again, but you must turn your back on wrath right now. No good will come from you taking vengeance.” Loki says. “I speak from experience on this. Please trust me.”

“I…I do.”

Steve’s ear piece crackles with the sound of Tony’s voice.

“We got him! We got Doom! Any word on Thor?” Tony asks.

“We found him. He’s alive.” Steve says.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of crying and Loki Thor cuddling, and crying, and talking. And crying in the next chapter. And did I mention a ton of talking. Like, long overdue by thousands of years conversations.


	14. A Long Time Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yea I have a computer screen again! This is an extra long chapter to reward all my diligent readers.

Bruce stays behind at Doom’s lab to destroy all of the samples they took from Thor and to inventory anything else that is there. The computer is of interest. No one speaks on the short plane ride back to the tower. Thor stares straight ahead. When the team arrives back at the tower Nick and the medical team are waiting. Thor is taken to sick bay where a nurse puts a suture in his arm for the small wound. Thor trembles when the latex glove touches him. Loki sits quietly in a chair beside him. The nurse leaves and a doctor comes in and closes the door. Thor is instantly on edge.

                “Thor, I’m Dr. Harrelson. I’ve been informed that you suffered torture of an intimate nature. I’ve come to ask you if you wish to have a physical examination done, to check your health and for any permanent damage. Is that something you want?”

                “No.” Thor says.

                “If you reconsider, do not hesitate to call me. I’ve also come to warn you about the psychological side effects that you can expect to suffer. If at any point in the future you suffer impotency, you need to consider that it might be mental, physical, or a combination of both.”

                “Impotency?” Thor says.

                “It is not uncommon for men that have endured torture like this to have difficulty achieving orgasm or to have low libido. If it happens, and persists I want you to consider letting me examine you. Keep my number, okay?” The doctor asks. Thor nods.

                “Well, if I am not doing an exam, then my work here is done. These are some sedatives, I recommend you take them tonight to get some sleep. They’ll keep the nightmares away as well. In the morning I recommend you seek out the services of a psychiatrist for follow up care.” The doctor hands Thor a bottle of pills and then leaves the room. Loki gets up and fills a paper cup with some water and hands it to Thor.

                “Take the pill Thor. You need sleep.” Loki says. Thor looks up at Loki with a shattered expression.

                “Did you have pills?” Thor asks.

                “No.”

                Thor uncaps the bottle and pops one into his mouth before chasing it with water.

                “Good. Valeria is still asleep. Mother is gone. She wanted to stay but she’d kept the projection going too long as it was. She asked me to look after you.” Loki says. Thor looks up at that statement.

                “How can you look after me? I wanted to rip out their throats. Do you not wish the same of me?” Thor says almost at a whisper. They are alone in the exam room. The bright white florescent lights and stark white walls make the room feel cold like a prison cell. Perhaps it is.

                “I did once, before you raped me, to a certain extent. Destroying you provided me a certain clarity I don’t think I would have achieved otherwise. What those men did to you was born of heartless selfish reasons. The robbing of power and the humiliation is just an automatic thing with any rape. But they were just collecting samples Thor. You ripped my heart from my chest.”

                “I hate you. I’m so tired of hating you. It all went so wrong. If I’d had the courage to tell you how I felt years ago, none of this would have happened. I tried to kill my love for you that I’ve been carrying since adolescence. I was certain your love for me was gone. I thought there was no hope.” Thor says.

                “I don’t blame you for believing that. I believed it myself. I wanted to stop loving what I thought I could never have. It is only logical to assume that someone that is trying to kill you repeatedly does not love you. What I did to you was criminal, and I am sorry.” Loki says.

                “I am sorry Loki. For everything. I have been a terrible brother. I should have recognized your suffering years ago.”

                “It wasn’t all bad. If it had been I wouldn’t have been able to love you as much as I do.” Loki says. “You weren’t always an insensitive oaf.”

                “I was a jealous one. I thought I could never have you. I felt disgust with myself for desiring my own brother. I was supposed to desire women. I was supposed to desire Sif. I mocked you to deflect attention from myself. I was so certain everyone could see my ergi lust for you. I never imagined that you were actually ergi or that you might return my affections.” Thor says, absolutely wrecked. It’s two in the morning and the sleeping pill will be kicking in soon.

                “Let’s go get some sleep. Valeria will be up soon.”

                “Will you stay with me?” Thor asks.

                “Yes.” Loki takes Thor by the hand and guides him back to his room. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to grab some night clothes and check on Valeria.” Loki slips into his room, fumbling in the dark. He grabs a set of green satin pajama pants and looks in on his little girl in her little bed. She’ll be needing a room of her own soon. Her little hand has wrangled a golden curl around a cute golden chubby finger.  Loki changes quickly and heads back to Thor’s room to find Thor still sitting on his bed staring into space. Loki grabs a set of red sweat pants out of the dresser and hands them to Thor. He’s still wearing the sheet from the warehouse.

                Thor stands and his hands tremble when he reaches for the knot at his hip. Tears drip down his face and he cannot look up for fear of meeting Loki’s eyes and breaking down completely. Loki’s hands catch Thor’s.

                “Cry into me.” Loki whispers. He unties the knot for Thor as Thor throws his big arms around Loki to embrace him. His break down is total. The sheet slips to the floor. Loki holds his brother as he cries, like he has not done since he was very very small. The loud sobs and gasping breathes are hardly muffled by Loki’s narrow shoulder and black hair. Bruce should certainly be able to hear him through the wall.

                Loki gently pushes Thor into a sitting position on the bed so the pants can get slipped onto Thor’s legs. He slides them up, taking care not to look at Thor’s neither region. Thor stands to get them the rest of the way on, and Loki slips them over his hips. Loki swallows hard then and looks down. Thor climbs into bed as Loki reaches for the light switch. He slides in beside Thor.

                “Do you want me to hold you?” Loki asks.

                “Yes.” Thor curls into Loki, resting his head atop Loki’s chest. They drift off into an unrestful sleep.

                Loki opens his eyes to see that it is just after eight in the morning and Thor is still curled up around him. He didn’t budge an inch in his sleep. Loki pets his hair as he contemplates the turn of events yesterday. The first thing he feels is the relief wash over him like an ocean wave. This anger, this long standing heartache is finally able to melt away into something better. Thor can finally see his part in all of this.

                The guilt comes then. He shouldn’t be enjoying the effects of Thor’s misfortune, but he is. Only through horror could Thor see and understand the pain he inflicted. Things were not getting better and it was only a matter of time before things became untenable. They had been since the beginning, really. Now at long last they can finally start over.

                Thor stirs and his eyes open. His body shifts slightly at first and Loki notices the wince. Loki remembers the sharp stinging pain from being ripped open by a large cock. Thor’s large cock. It took several days for the sensation to go away. Those days had been the worst. He was reminded with each step and bowel movement what had been done to him. Thor now feels that pain. The humiliation of being rendered powerless and unmanned. It could have been so much worse. It could have been personal, like what he did to Loki.

                “You need to eat, you need to drink lots of water, and later we will drink alcohol. Lots of it. But first we will shower. We will scrub every inch of you, probably harder than is necessary, because it will feel good. Then we will hold our daughter and let her comfort us. Then we will come back to bed to hide and to cry. We will turn on the television and let it play even though we won’t really be paying any attention to it. We’ll eat ice cream and we’ll go outside and feel the sun on our faces, because that is what you need.”

                “No sunlight.” Thor says. Loki sees the rain drops dripping down the window glass. The forecast for New York City for the rest of the summer: Gloomy and rainy every day for the foreseeable future.

                “The sun will shine again, but not yet.” Loki says. He gently presses Thor’s arm, bidding him to rise. They get up and go to the bathroom. Loki knows the horror that is about to hit Thor’s psyche.

                “The first bowel movement was the worst. The way your cock split me open, I feared I’d die of internal hemorrhaging. In a strange way I hoped it would kill me. I wanted to die in those days.” Loki looks at Thor and sees the tears have already started.

                “I’ll get you the softest washcloth I can find. You’ve endure worse physical pain before than this, but that is not what this is about. I will not leave you alone in here though.” Loki opens up the linen closet and pulls out a fresh new white Egyptian cotton terry cloth washcloth and he hands it to Thor.

                Loki starts a bath as Thor stands there dumb and numb. The water fills the tub quickly enough and Loki reaches down to turn off the faucet. The sound of running water gives Thor the urge to urinate. He steps to the toilet and to relieve himself. It is as he is urinating that he feels the ghost sensation of the electric shocks he felt from the night before. His overly sensitive prostate twitches with an unwanted pleasure that makes Thor sick to his stomach. His cock starts to harden and his urine stream stops to a trickle. He can’t pee. A small whimper escapes Thor’s mouth as panic sets in. He doesn’t have control of his own body and it scares him.

                “You’re going to have malfunctions down below for a few days. It’s normal. If you find it easier to urinate while you’re in the bath, you can do that. We can always change out the water.”

                Thor doesn’t nod. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge the statement at all. His eyes go dead and distant.

                “I’m going to help you into the bath.” Loki says. “You need to remove your pants.” Thor hooks his thumbs into his pants and they slide down his legs in a shiny display of red satin. Thor steps into the warm steamy water and slowly lowers in. The searing stabbing pain that blasts through his anus forces yet another whimper and a tear free.

                Loki kneels down beside the tub and grabs the washcloth and the soap, lathering it into a nice rich foam.

                “You’ll need to do this part yourself. No one else can.” Loki says.

Thor takes the soapy cloth into his palm and rubs his forearm with it in a mechanical fashion. He moves up the arm and then to his chest before starting down the other arm. He scrubs his face, he scrubs his legs, and he scrubs his feet. Last of all are his private. The soap doesn’t really stay in the cloth since his hips are below the water line, but that doesn’t really matter. The bath water is white and cloudy with soapy discharge. It is the act of running the soft item over his cock, testicles, and rear entrance that is cleansing. He is reintroducing that area to the feeling of a gentle touch. Thor winces again from the sting and finishes up. He washes his hair and stands to rinse off with fresh water one last time before exiting the bath. He watches as his shame swirls slowly down the drain.

                “I’m tired.” Thor mutters.

                “We only got a few hours of sleep last night. A nap is very reasonable. Let’s go back to bed.”

XxXxXxXx

 

                Thor and Loki hear their bedroom door creek open, followed by the sound of tiny little feet padding to their bed. There is a distinct tug on the comforter as their daughter climbs the mattress mountain to take up residence between them. Her little toddler body wedges in between Thor and Loki. Clint stands at the door peeking into the room.

                “Daddy.” She whispers and snuggles up to his chest. Thor and Loki both stir from all the movement and sound.

                “Hi darling girl. Were you a good girl for grandma last night?”

                “Yes Mommy! I love grandma! Grandma woke me up and played with me.”

                “She woke you up did she?” Loki chuckles. Of course Frigga did. She didn’t want to pass up her one and only chance to play with her granddaughter. Thor’s great arm encircles his little girl and pulls her in for a mighty bear hug.

                “Did you tell grandma you love her?”

                “Yes Daddy. Daddy, why are you sad?” She asks.

                “Daddy has an owie. Can you make it better?”

                “Yes Daddy. I give you hugs and kisses.” Her little chubby arms snake around Thor’s neck to squeeze. Thor’s breath quickens and he begins to panic.

                “Valeria darling, don’t choke Daddy.” Loki grabs her arms and pulls her away.

                “Hey munchkin. Mommy and Daddy both have tummy aches. They are going to stay in bed all day today. You wanna come with me and go ride horseys?”

                “Horseys!” She squeals and bounces off the bed into Clint’s arms.

                “You be a good girl for Uncle Clint and do what he tells you.” Loki says.

                “Okay Mommy!” She says. Clint shuts the door behind him and they are alone again.

                “Good morning again.” Loki says.

                “Good morning.”

                “How do you feel?”

                “Like I can never show my face to my friends ever again. They all know what happened to me.” Thor says.

                “I understand. They’ll look at you with pity, if they look at you at all. I still haven’t figured out which is worse: no one knowing, or everyone knowing. With me the shame was private for a very long time, but it also meant that I had no one to talk to. Here everyone knows, but that doesn’t mean they want to talk about it either.”

                “I’ve never felt so powerless in my life, not even when I was mortal.” Thor says.

                “I have, before the rape. I felt powerless all the time. Even before the coronation I felt ignored and without a voice of my own.”

                “I valued your opinion very much Loki.”

                “I know you did. You were one of the few, but even you only listened to a point. A fact I exploited when I manipulated you into marching on Jotunnheim that day to seek vengeance.”

                “I was such a child. I redeemed myself only for a short while it would seem. That child still abides in me. It has been living just beneath the surface for a long time and you coaxed it out.”

                “We’re both guilty on that front.” Loki says. They lay there staring at one another in silence, both searching for words to say.

                “I don’t want to leave this room today. I don’t want the others to see me.” Thor says.

                “Do you think they will think less of you?”

                “I know they do. What kind of god is shackled and molested by mortals? How can I call myself a warrior?”

                “You are a warrior Thor. That has not changed. You’ve never suffered defeat at the hands of an enemy before. You’ve never been captured before, not like this at least. In fact your greatest defeat was the one you inflicted upon yourself on Jotunnheim that day, when Odin banished you and made you mortal.”

                “This is my greatest defeat.”

                “Sometimes when you lose, you win.” Loki says. Thor furrows his brow at Loki, not understanding his statement.

                “You are always at your most arrogant when you constantly win. It makes losing all the more devastating for you. You feel so invincible you forget what you are really risking every time you step out there with Mjolnir in your hand.”

                “In my youth I called to war. My brief time as a mortal opened my eyes, but I still could not see you Loki. I thought all that motivated you was blind ambition.”

                “For a little while there it was. I wanted to protect Asgard from your arrogant reign. I knew it would only be a matter of time before you led us down that path. Your banishment went perfectly. What I didn’t predict was the truth about my own nature. Odin falling into the Odinsleep was a bonus I did not expect, and when the temple priest put his staff in my hands I felt free of your shadow for the first time in my life. I didn’t want to give that up, but the new shadow of my Jotunn body loomed as a new threat. I tried to get rid of it, and get my vengeance at Laufey for throwing me away like refuse.”

                “Is that why you lied to me and told me father was dead?”

                “Yes.”

                “Is that why you attacked my friends as well?”

                “Yes, and I’m glad you recognize that they were your friends and not mine.” Loki says.

                “It wasn’t so bad. Fandral genuinely liked you.” Thor says.

                “He was also the first to throw out the ergi barbs at me.”

                “He only meant it in jest Loki. He didn’t know how deeply the insults affected you. He always spoke up for you when the others spoke about you behind your back.”

                “I knew it. Volstagg has always been openly distrustful of magic wielders and Hogun…I could never get a clear read on him since he spoke so little. But I always felt an air of disapproval rolling off of him. Then there’s Sif. I never understood why she hated me so much. It wasn’t just the hair. She’s not vain enough to carry a grudge for that long. She’s been in love for you all these years. I wonder…if she saw something in either of us that we did not see in each other?”

                “You mean the mutual desire?” Thor asks.

                “Yes.”

                “It would explain a lot. She was always jealous of any time you and I spent alone together.”

                “I had thought that, at the time, I would enjoy my short tenure as King of Asgard while Odin slept, winning his praise and ultimately succeeding him, and then I could bring you back. I could bring you home and have you there safe with me, wiser and eager to rule at my side. As King I could have married anyone I wanted. It’s why I couldn’t bring myself to kill you with the Destroyer. But I didn’t anticipate you getting Mjolnir back and coming back to Asgard and everything that followed.”

                “Why send the Destroyer at all?”

                “Your friends defied me. I was their rightful King and they defied me. They came down to Midgard to ruin everything. I shouldn’t have sent the Destroyer. They had no plan other than to fetch you, but you hadn’t regained Mjolnir yet. You still had no standing. You still had not learned your lesson. That mortal woman that affected your heart so greatly…I wanted her to die too.”

                “Why do you hate Jane so much Loki?”

                “Because she got to play the role of your savior, when it was I that saved you from yourself. In time I knew you would see the good I had done on your behalf, but that bitch swooped in and took all the glory and your heart and I was just the villain. I was the ambitious conniving jealous brother that betrayed you purely for selfish gain, not the one that loved you enough to see to your long term needs. She got to be the hero, not me.” Loki says. There is no heat to his words, only sorrow.

                “May I hold you?” Thor asks. Loki takes a deep breath, and nods. He scoots closer to Thor and rests his head on Thor’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. Thor gently rests his hand on Loki’s shoulder and arm. They lay there in silence, staring at the ceiling.


	15. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So for those of you paying attention, you'll notice a leap in time in the middle of this chapter.

“Hey Buddy! How are you feeling?” Tony says sounding overly nice. Loki glares at Tony and gives a small shake of the head. This too sweet, coddling tone is the exact thing that Thor was dreading. His friends, in their effort to show concern and give comfort are going to make this situation worse. People always do. It’s human nature.

                Thor doesn’t reply. He doesn’t even look up. He does not want to see their pity reflected in their eyes. Can’t they all pretend they have no idea this happened? It would be easier.

                “Hey Thor, Valeria is dying to go to the park and play in her new yellow rain coat and goulashes, aren’t you baby girl?” Clint asks.

                “Yea!” She squeals.

                “You need to resume regular activities. You’ve wallowed for three days. You need to start moving again. Going outside will be good for you.” Loki says as he gently places a hand on Thor’s left shoulder. “I’ll grab the coats.”  

                The rain outside is light as little Valeria swings back and forth between Mommy and Daddy. She holds their hands and giggles as she stomps into puddles. The happy sound brings a small smile to Thor’s face, the first he’s had in days. They make it to the playground and Valeria goes wild as she is the only child there and has full reign over the swing set and sandbox. Her interest in these things wanes after only a few minutes as she is drawn back to the puddles of ever thickening mud.

                “Valeria darling try not to get too dirty.” Loki calls after her.

                “Daddy come play with me! I want dirty Daddy!” She says.

                “Dirty daddy. She really does enjoy those outings with you.” Loki says.

                “Clint takes me and Valeria out to his home every now and again. He has a farm a couple hour’s drive from here. Sometimes we’ll go out there to play in the mud or ride horses.”

                “Why did you not tell me before?” Loki asks.

                “I knew you wouldn’t approve. Valeria and I will strip down to our underwear, or in her case completely naked and we’ll get absolutely filthy from head to toe. You always get so angry so easily over little things. It’s not always easy to talk to you, especially if I know we will disagree.” Thor says.

                “For a long time stinging words were my only weapon. Even after I learned how to defend myself with magic and daggers the habit remained. I will endeavor to fight more fairly with you in the future.” Loki says. They watch their daughter prance about in the water as if joy were a tangle object she held in her hands.

                “I’m not angry with you anymore, and as horrific as the road has been for the both of us I don’t regret it either. I won’t take any of it back. Not now. Not if it meant losing her. She was worth all of it.” Loki says.

                “Do you forgive me for hurting you?” Thor asks.

                “For raping me? Or for everything before as well?”

                “All of it.”

                “Yes. Do you forgive me for trying to kill you and for all the lies and betrayal?”

                “I’m trying Loki. I’m not angry anymore. I still love you. I have a dream inside of my head of a life we could have, still…after everything.”

                “But?”

                “But my instinct not to trust you still remains.”

                “Then we shall proceed slowly, if you’ll let me.”

                “Proceed in what way?”

                “We’re two fools that have been in love with each other since boyhood. Despite all the hurt we’ve inflicted upon each other we still cannot shake this pull we feel for one another. We should court each other Thor. We should court each other in the manner of our ancestors. Slow, drawn out, taking decades. We need time. The both of us need time to forget old grievances and create new memories that are more pleasant.”

                “Do you think that wise given all the bitterness between us?”

                “We couldn’t possibly make this situation any worse, besides it would be good for Valeria to see us be loving to one another.”

                “Is that your only reason for wanting this?” Thor asks.

                “No.” Loki leans in and kisses Thor on the cheek. It is chaste and quick. “Let us begin again.”

XxXxXxXxXx

                “Daddy!” Valeria screeches at her father.

                “Don’t you take that tone with me young lady! I said NO!” Thor bellows at his daughter.

                “But I want to ride the Ferris Wheel again!”

                “You’ve already ridden it a dozen times and tomorrow is a school day. It is getting late and we have not had dinner yet.”

                “But Daddy!” Valeria pouts and stomps her feet. She’s making a scene. Lightning streaks across an otherwise blue sky and thunder booms loud from a small dark cloud that is growing in size.

                “Oh, so now you think you can call the lightning on me?” Thor says as he glares at his impudent six year old. He picks her up with one hand and spanks her right there in public. Her wails of pain and humiliation draw further attention to them as every stranger in the immediate vicinity stops and stares at them. It is in moments like this when Thor really misses Mjolnir. He’d give anything to fly off and away from these people. He tosses her over his shoulder and carries her kicking and screaming all the way back to the car. Her holly roller melt down is not earning her points with her father. She doesn’t stop until she is strapped in and the car is out of the parking lot, with the County Fair shrinking in the back window.

                Valeria sobs quietly during the drive back to the tower. Thor has not calmed much by the time they get to the top of the tower. Thor finds Loki leaning over a blueprint of a new green energy source that Tony is developing. Loki is picking apart its flaws.

                “I saw lightning and thunder in the distance.” Loki says.

                “You need to have a word with your daughter about her spoiled princess behavior.” Thor says in a dark angry tone.

                “My daughter? The last time I checked she’s your daughter too.” Loki says.

                “She made a scene! She’s a stubborn arrogant child!”

                “I wonder where she gets that from.” Loki says.

                “We spoil her too much! If we were back on Asgard she’d be strapped to a post and flogged.”

                “You spanked her didn’t you?”

                “Yes I did.”

                “Thor, we’ve talked about this. We agreed not to spank.”

                “You agreed.”

                “You can’t lose your temper like that every time she acts like a child.”

                “You weren’t there Loki! She…she…” Thor runs his hands through his hair, exasperated. Loki looks down at his little girl. She’s looking up at him with sad pitiful innocent eyes. He doesn’t buy that bullshit for a minute.

                “To bed with you.” Loki orders.

                “But it’s still light outside Mommy!”

                “NOW young lady!” Loki says. Unlike Thor, Valeria is intimidated by Loki. She whimpers and scampers off to her room with her tail between her legs.

                “How do you get her to do that?” Thor asks. “I swear the girl has no fear of me at all.”

                “It was the same with us and Frigga was it not? Odin would scream at us and threaten us with torture but it was always mother that brought us to heel.”

                “You mean you. Father’s threats always worked on me, but you’d convince me to carry on with your schemes and get me into trouble.”

                “Be grateful she’s an only child then.” Loki smiles. Thor does look at wits end. Loki is angry with Thor about the spanking thing but lets it go. Thor is not the patient man he used to be. He is much less tolerant of constant badgering and abuse, which of course is Loki’s doing.

                “So aside from Valeria’s insubordinate behavior, how was the fair?” Loki asks.

                “Fun. I wish Asgard had such amusements where we were children.” Thor says.

                “I wish I had gone with you, but I promised Anthony I would get this finished by the end of this week.”

                “I’m glad to see you working again. You seem happier.” Thor says.

                “As fulfilling as motherhood is, it can be rather dull, and it is long past time I repay my debts in earnest.” Loki says as he looks at a diagram. Thor smiles.

                “I got something for you.” Thor reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a little box which contains a necklace. He pendant is made out of glass but it is green and full of sparkly little inclusions that catch the light like a cat’s eye, or in this case, Loki’s eyes.

                “Oh Thor. This is lovely.” Loki admires it for a moment and then puts it on. Loki’s hair is shorter these days, to about his chin. His black slacks, and green sweater are form fitting and he looks very trim.

                “I was thinking about what you said the other night. I was thinking we could try tonight.” Thor says low. Loki swallows hard. He knows it needs to be done and frankly both he and Thor have needs they have been ignoring. Loki nods his head.

                “Alright. Tonight then.” Loki says.

XxXxXxXxX

                Thor and Loki both prepare for bed like they always do. They’ve been sleeping in the same bed for some time now. Sleeping, and nothing more. Tonight will be different though. Tonight they will both take part in a trust exercise. A naked trust exercise. It will be hard for them both. Thor and Loki stand on opposite sides of the bed and stare at each other’s naked bodies.

                “Right. So…I suppose one of us should go first.” Loki says. His heart is beating rapidly as a mixture of excitement and panic floods through him. He wants to run and he wants to fuck. It has been a long time since he addressed his carnal needs. He hasn’t masturbated in years, let alone allow another to touch him. The last person to touch him so intimately had been…

                “I’ll go first.” Thor says breathless. Loki can tell he is panicked as well. He lies down on the bed keeping his eyes on Loki, looking frightened and nervous.

                “We can stop anytime you want.” Loki says. Thor nods. Loki opens up the nightstand drawer and pulls out the lube and a very skinny little vibrator. The packaging says it is a clit rocket. Loki takes it out of the box and puts in the little batteries.

                “Spread your legs and bend your knees for me Thor.” Loki says almost at a whisper. Thor’s face flushes and he gulps down a lungful of air. He breaks into a sweat as he exposes himself to Loki’s view.  Thor’s cock is still flaccid and Loki knows that arousal is not going to be something that comes easy the first time around. Loki kneels between Thor’s spread legs and places one hand on the inside of Thor’s thigh.

                “Are you alright?” Loki asks. Thor nods but his eyes are full of fear. “Breathe Thor. I won’t harm you. I swear it darling. It won’t hurt.” Loki continues to rub small circles into Thor’s thighs until his breathing steadies and Thor’s body relaxes. Loki twists the little dial on the vibrator and turns it to max. The sound sets Thor rigid again and Loki presses the little pleasure wand to the inside of Thor’s thigh.

                “This is as powerful as it gets. It is already at its maximum setting. There won’t be any surprises.” Loki says. Loki rubs Thor’s thighs for a few more moments. His circles get lower and lower until his fingers and the vibrator are teasing at Thor’s entrance. Loki places the pulsing device over Thor’s rim and lets the vibration relax the ring of muscle. Thor groans from the pleasure and squeezes his eyes shut.

                “We can stop any time you want.” Loki says.  “I’m going to breach you now. I’ll go slow and make gentle movements. You tell me if you feel any pain or discomfort.” Loki says. Loki puts more lube on the vibrator and presses it to Thor’s entrance until the tight ring of muscle gives and the bulbous tip slides in. Thor gasps. Thor’s cock finally stirs.

                “Shh. A little deeper now.” Loki pushes the device in a little more.

                “Loki! Ah! They laughed at me! They laughed at me and watched me come. They made me come and all I could think about was you. And it felt so powerful and painful. But it felt good too. I think about it sometimes. I think about the device and how it felt inside me!” Thor has tears coming out of his eyes as he confesses his shame.

                “Had you ever been penetrated like that before?” Loki asks.

                “No. No never. I’ve fucked other men in secret but I’ve never been taken before. It felt strangely pleasurable and all I could think about was that it wasn’t you!” Thor sobs. His body jerks then as Loki strokes the vibrator against his prostate.

                “Oh! Oh Loki!” Thor’s back arches and he keens. Thor’s hard cock pulses with an impending orgasm. “Ah…ah! Loki! Loki I’m afraid!” Thor’s toes curl as his release wracks through his body. Come splashes across Thor’s belly and he makes a sound in his throat that is a mixture of pain, pleasure, and fear. Loki quickly removes the device and switches it off. Thor’s whimpering sounds soften as he comes back to reality.

                “How do you feel?” Loki asks.

                “Relieved. I thought it was going to hurt. I thought, when I came, it would feel like my insides were on fire.” Thor says and he takes slow calming breaths and wipes the tears from his eyes. “Thank you.”

                “Thank you for trusting me.” Loki says. Loki’s chest swells with trepidation. It is his turn now. Thor sits up and places his palm on Loki’s cheek.

                “I’ll get the massage oil.” Thor says. Loki takes a deep breath and lies down on his stomach. It is the most vulnerable position he could be in. Thor returns and climbs back onto the bed and straddles Loki’s thighs.

                “I’m not going to penetrate you. I’m just going to pleasure you with my hands. If you want to me to stop or give you space, tell me.” Thor says. Loki nods. Thor pours a generous amount of oil into one hand and sets the bottle down before rubbing them together. His big strong hands grab Loki’s shoulders and press, making circles in the muscles. Loki breath hitches and it is his turn to panic.

                “Breathe Loki. Breathe.” Thor says.

                “Tell me you love me.” Loki sobs.

                “I love you Loki.” Thor leans down and rains kisses on Loki’s back. Loki sobs at the gentle contact. “I love you…I love you.” Loki sniffles and his chin trembles. Thor lies down on top of Loki then pressing his chest to Loki’s back. He kisses the back of Loki’s neck and shoulder.

                “Stop!” Loki yells. Thor dives off him to give him space. Loki sits ups and gasps for air.

                “I’m sorry…” Thor starts to apologize.

                “I just…I just need to catch my breath.” Loki smacks his thigh in frustration. He know Thor isn’t going to hurt him, but his instincts…he just needs more time.

                “We went too fast. This is our first round. We should have started out with a less compromising position for you.” Thor says.

                “Agreed.” Loki says.

                “I still want to pleasure you Loki, if you are up to it.”

                Loki pants but incrementally his breathing is slowing down. “What did you have in mind?”

                “You could lay on your back and I could lay on my stomach between your legs and I could pleasure you with my mouth. I would very much like to taste you Loki.”

                “Alright.” Loki says. His eyes are wide and he looks very much like a doe caught by a hunter. He feels so vulnerable. Thor moves towards the bottom of the bed and Loki spreads his legs to accommodate Thor’s broad massive shoulders.

                “Here, drape your legs over me.” Thor instructs. The pads of Loki’s feet rest on Thor’s back. Loki expects Thor to wraps his lips around his cock and gasps when he feels the flat of Thor’s tongue lick at his rim.

                “Thor?!”

                “Was that good?”

                “I…I don’t know. I’ve never had that done to me before.”

                “Oh Loki. Let me give you something wonderful.” Thor laps at Loki’s hole again making a moan break out of Loki’s throat.

                “Oh…” For several minutes the only sound in the room is of Thor’s smacking lips. Thor kisses up Loki’s testicles and licks Loki’s shaft. Loki screams in surprise as he comes. Thor had not expected it either. Thor takes the tip into his mouth to clean it and then licks the seed off of Loki’s belly.

                “Thank you for trusting me.” Thor says.


	16. Get Away

“Did you pack a coat?” Loki asks Thor.

                “Yes, but I didn’t see one for you or Valeria.” Thor says. Loki raises an eyebrow at Thor and he blushes at his own stupidity.

                “Oh, right.” They are heading to Tony’s private winter lodge up in the Catskills mountains for a long weekend snowy retreat. The property is remote and secluded. They won’t have to worry about nosy neighbors or curious onlookers. Loki and Valeria can be themselves and frolic in the snow. Aside from packing warm clothing and other winter accessories Thor has also packed a bag full of intimate items for he and Loki to share. Every day he feels he is a little closer to that dream life he imagined all those years. It is a double edged sword inside his heart. The more he and Loki mend the bond the worse the guilt becomes. It is a feeling he does not want to feel.

                He feels manic, letting his guard down little by little. Letting Loki back in little by little. In the back of his mind he keeps waiting for Loki to pull a stunt and stab him in the ribs again. It is that instinct he hates the most. He wishes it would go away.

                “I think that is everything.” Loki says. He takes Valeria by the hand as he slings a heavy bag over his shoulder. Thor picks up the other two bags and they all pile into the elevator and head down to the garage.  In their spare time here on earth, Thor and Loki both have mastered the art of driving, if only out of necessity. The beginning of the journey is always a nightmare as they make the slow escape out of the city before finally hitting open road.

                “Daddy look at the birds!” Valeria points at the flock of geese landing in the water.

                “In the spring I will take you to the park and introduce you to the red tailed hawks there. You’ll love them.” Loki says. Thor turns on the radio and searches for some decent music. Unfortunately half of the stations are playing cheesy Christmas music.

                “Allow me.” Loki says. He pulls out his cellphone and snaps it into the docking bay on the dashboard. His playlist pops up immediately. “Siri, play Florence and the Machine.” The cellphone responds and _The Dog Days Are Over_ blares out over the speakers.

                They drive for a long time, listening to the music. Loki reaches for Thor’s right hand and holds it. Thor smiles at him. Valeria eventually dozes off in the back out of boredom. Loki looks back to confirm she is not listening and asks Thor something important.

                “Thor?”

                “Yes Loki.”

                “Tonight, when Valeria goes to bed I…I was thinking about what you and I might do together.”

                “I thought about that too. I brought some things I thought we might want.”

                “She’s so comfortable being in her Jotunn skin. I have never felt comfortable in that form.”

                “What is it you are asking me Loki?”

                “I was thinking maybe a massage in my Jotunn form? If you…if you found that enjoyable?” Loki’s insecurity echoes in his voice.

                “There’s nothing wrong with your natural form Loki.” Thor says gently.

                “But do you find it attractive?”

                “Of course I do. It is very exotic.” Thor gives Loki’s hand a squeeze. Loki smiles but he cannot shake the feeling that Thor is lying to him to spare his feelings. He cannot complain about that though. It is far better than Thor outright insulting him like in their adolescent days. Had they known then that Loki was Jotunn, he is sure it would have been a source of mockery and insult for him and his friends.

                They reach the lodge and Valeria perks right up from her little nap and squeals in delight as a snowflake falls down upon her outstretched tongue. She turns blue and plops down onto the ground to make snow angels.

                “Mommy it’s blue time! Come play with me!” Her little grin is perhaps the one thing that is so Loki about Valeria. Loki chuckles and joins her on the snow and the pair play as Thor unloads the car. The large faux wood cabin is not rustic in the least. It is a mansion with all modern amenities and even some extras that makes this a luxurious get away. In the basement there is a sauna and a steaming whirlpool next to a small cold pool. Off to the side is a steam shower and a massage room. The entire spa area is decorated beautifully in mosaic tiles. Tony has good taste.

                Loki and Valeria use their ice magic to make an ice fort complete with miniature catapult and plenty of snowball ammunition. Thor hasn’t got a prayer of survival.

                “Now that is just not fair!” Thor says as he admires their little structure. “I demand the assistance of the lovely fair princess in this epic battle.”

                “I suppose you are at a bit of a disadvantage. Very well. I’ll give you ten minutes to prepare yourself.” Loki says.

                “Only ten minutes?”

                “Tick tock, tick tock.” Loki grins. Thor takes Valeria by the hand and runs across the yard and they build his fort very quickly. Thor makes snowballs as Valeria builds up a wall for them. She then makes a catapult sculpture also, though it is not as pretty and elegant looking as the one Mommy made. Thor is working on his fifth snowball when Valeria turns her attention to his little pile.

                “That’s all you made?” She asks, clearly disappointed in him.

                “I cannot make snowballs like you can.” Thor says.

                “That’s because you’re doing it wrong Daddy!” A little scowl forms on her face and she manufactures snowballs out of thin air with her hands with lightning speed. Thor cannot suppress a chuckle at the look of annoyance his daughter is giving him.

                “I love you so very much.” He says.

                “I love you too Daddy.” Their quiet little moment is interrupted by a snowball whizzing by Thor’s head, just missing it by the fraction of an inch.

                “The battle has begun, ready the cannon.” Thor says. His eyes glow with the excitement of battle. In a matter of seconds snowballs are flying across the air in both directions. Holes in ice walls appear and disappear as quickly as Loki and Valeria can get to them. Thor feels the painful sting of cold over and over again as Loki’s aim is steady and true.

                One snowball, however, hits Valeria squarely in the face and her little body goes flying backwards, sending her little legs flying up into the air in such a comical fashion that Thor bursts out laughing at the sight. Valeria gets up, purple with anger and tears in her eyes scowling at her father for daring to laugh.

                “Daddy!” She screeches at him. Thor grabs her and pulls her in tight for a hug, but he’s still chuckling and she slaps at his shoulders. He’s laughing at her misfortune and she’s pissed. Loki is laughing too. He shouldn’t, but he can’t help it. It was such a perfect shot.

XxXxXxXx

                “Is she asleep?” Thor asks.

                “Yes, after three bedtime stories and a sleeping spell.” Loki says.

                “A sleeping spell?”

                “She was determined to stay awake. Just when I thought it was safe to get up and leave, my jostling the bed woke her again. I had to do it.” Loki says. Thor smiles. A silence follows. They haven’t touched each other intimately since that first experiment three months ago. Their mutual nervousness builds up the tension.

                “The spa in the basement here is very beautiful. I think we would enjoy it.” Thor says.

                “That is what you were telling me earlier. I think we should make good use of it.” Loki and Thor head down the stairs into the separate spa section. The mosaic tiles are a sandy tan color with maroon and emerald swirling designs here and there. It is very lovely. Thor has their bag-o-fun and sets in on a bench. They disrobe in front of one another, each watching the other openly as they expose their own skin.

                “The massage table is elevated. I wouldn’t have to straddle you and crowd you to reach all of you. Do you want to try laying on your stomach again?” Thor asks.

                “Eventually, but I don’t want that to be the first thing we do. I want to build to that.” Loki says. “I was thinking we could sit in the whirlpool and talk for a while.”

                “I’d like that.” The water is nice and warm, a great relief to Thor who has been frozen half solid for the past few hours. He sighs as the comforting relaxing sensation floods over his body. Loki sits directly across from him. The pool is small and their knees almost touch.

                “Valeria was furious with you today.” Loki says. Thor chuckles again.

                “The way her legs just flew up over her head like that. I could not resist.” Thor says. “She is so like you. It is subtle. She may look like me on the surface, but her smile and personality is definitely yours.”

                “Until she turns blue and then there is no denying her.” Loki says.

                “There’s no denying yourself either.” Thor says, his tone turning serious.

                “I wish I could.” Loki says.

                “One day, I would like to make love to you in your Jotunn form. When you are ready.”

                “My heart still races when I’m naked in front of you like this. I feel fear that I don’t want to feel.”

                “Is it because you’re afraid I’ll reject you for being Jotunn? Or are you still afraid I’ll physically harm you?”

                “I’m not sure anymore.” Loki says.

                “What can I do to calm you?”

                “I don’t know. Hold me I suppose. Let my body relearn to relax into your touch.”

                “I need that as well.” Thor says.

                “I won’t hurt you again Thor. I swear it.”

                “Come here.” Thor outstretches his arms to Loki, who leans forward to kneel between Thor’s legs. Loki rests his head on Thor’s breast plate, feeling Thor’s semi-soft shaft rubbing against his chest in the water. Thor runs his fingers through Loki’s hair which is wet with a mixture of water and sweat. Loki’s hands run up Thor’s thighs and then his rib cage. He spots the scar there. The one shaped like a dagger slit. It is a thick ugly scar, no doubt made so from constantly being reopened. He runs the pad of his thumb atop it and looks into Thor’s eyes. He doesn’t speak but Thor can see the regret and apology there. Loki leans forward and kisses the scar.

                Thor shudders and gasps. He’d been holding his breath and not realized it. His head rolls back and he looks up at the ceiling. His eyes are shiny with tears that are forming, and they’ve only just started. Loki tongues at the thick skin as his fingers roam Thor’s torso.

                “We need to stop.” Thor’s voice breaks. His erection is fully hard and his body is screaming to invade the soft pliant body before him. Loki pulls away and sits back across from Thor. The golden man takes several deep breaths.

                “I’m sorry.” Loki says reflexively.

                “It wasn’t that. I was a little too aroused. I don’t want to frighten you.” Thor says. Loki nods in understanding.

                “Thor? I would like to touch you, there. Would you like me to stroke you?”

                “Only if it is something you want.”

                “I do. I want it very much.” Loki moves forward and kneels in the water again. This time his fingers go below the water line and seek out Thor’s member. Their eye contact is sweet but intense. Their mutual anxiety leads them to do something they have never done before. They kiss.

                Thor moans into the kiss. The water makes sloshing sounds as Loki moves his hand rhythmically.

                “Loki…” Thor’s whole body tenses with the desire to scoop Loki up into his arms and ravish him with tenderness. Loki’s lips are soft velvety pillows and his tongue the coolness of his favorite peppermint candy. Thor gasps as his muscles contract with his coming release. He keens and whimpers. Loki pants as his arm moves faster and faster.

                “Tell me I’m the only one you’ll ever want.” Loki says.

                “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted. Uh…Loki…I want…” Thor leans in and kisses Loki again, moaning into his mouth as his seed clouds the water between them. They pant as they recover from their activity, sharing the same air and space.

                “I want to pleasure you Loki. I want to make love to you. I’d give anything to hold you and fill you and join our bodies as one.”

                “I want that too Thor, eventually. There is something else I also want as well.” Loki says looking fearful that he will be refused.

                “What is it?”

                “I want to fill you also.” Loki says. Thor looks dumbstruck for a moment as he digests the request. Of course Loki would desire penetrative sex. He is a man after all. Thor imagines what it would be like to feel Loki’s silky length striking his insides. His face flushes red and his pupils blow wide. Loki becomes uncomfortable as the seconds tick by, thinking Thor is going to refuse him.

                “Yes.” Thor rises from the whirlpool.

                “Now?” Loki asks surprised.

                “Yes.”

                “Are you sure? I mean, are you ready for that? You aren’t afraid?”

                “You’re the only one I want inside me.” Thor’s jaw is set and his eyes resolute. Loki rises from the pool as well. Their eyes scan the room, looking for a comfortable place. They spy a soft plush lounger couch. It is perfect. Thor pulls out the bottle of lavender oil he brought with him and hands it to Loki.

                “How do you want to do this? Do you want to be on your back or your stomach or some other way?”

                “I want to see your eyes.” Thor says. His fingers brush a lock of black hair back behind Loki’s ear. He reaches into the bag and grabs the little clit rocket as well, surprising Loki again.

                “You like this?” Loki asks. Thor nods, a little embarrassed by the request. “Lie down darling.”

                Thor lies down on the lounge. The back is at a 45 degree angle, which will make kissing Loki easier. Thor spreads his massive legs so Loki can kneel between them. He knows deep down that he could not present his body in such a vulnerable position to anyone else. Loki squirts a generous amount of oil into his hands and rubs down Thor’s thighs, cock, and stomach. Thor’s legs have hair on them, but it is short, blond, and baby fine. Almost non-existent really. Loki notices that the hair around Thor’s cock is groomed now. It hadn’t been before.

                Loki lubes up the little vibrator and turns it on. Thor shudders again and a little smile curls his lips when he feels the little wand placed at his entrance. It doesn’t take long for the pulsing to relax the rim of muscles there.

                “Loki? Would you like to turn blue? You could be in your Jotunn form when you take me?”

                “One new thing at a time Thor.” Loki says. His hands are shaking. Thousands of years of fantasy and pent up desire are about to be realized. The toy breaches Thor and Loki uses it to work his opening and build Thor’s desire. Loki’s own cock is standing at attention and leaking. Pale and smooth like the rest of him, it looks firm but pliant. It is beautiful, just like the rest of Loki.

                “I’m ready Loki.” Loki withdraws the toy, turning it off and tossing it to the side. Loki moves slowly, lying on top of Thor. His breath is jagged as Thor wraps his legs around Loki’s hips. For a moment, Loki feels that old fear pop up, but he ignores it. He’s in the position of power this time. He grabs his cock and guides it Thor’s entrance and pushes in. They cry out together and kiss, hot and intense.

                “Are you alright? I’m not hurting you?” Loki asks. Thor shakes his head and arches his ass up, entreating Loki to fuck him. Loki moves. Thor is so hot and so tight. His sweet tight passage grips him so perfectly. Loki does not know if he will last long and he wants this moment to last as long as possible. He gyrates his hips slowly, drawing out a maddening frisson across Thor’s nerve endings.

                “Oh Loki…you feel so wonderful.” They kiss some more, mostly lips.

                “Thor…do you love me?”

                “Yes love. Fill me up dove. Show me all that you’ve longed for.” Thor’s gentle voice encourages his lover to unleash his passion. Loki does. His movements speed up with desire and confidence. Their moans echo off the hard tile walls. Loki feels his orgasm build up, which Thor sees written in his face and erratic maneuvers.

                “Spill your seed inside me Loki. You can put the toy back inside me after to keep it there.”

                “AHHH!” Loki screams as the obscene image sends him over the edge. Loki grabs Thor’s dick and strokes it, causing the thunder god to spill over his fingers moments later.

                “I love you.” Loki says and he allows his full body weight to collapse on top of Thor.  They become sleepy in their blissful haze. For the first time in a long time, Thor feels trust creep back in.


	17. Doom

                Loki squints at the blueprints for Stark’s new miniature arc reactor technology. It is very similar to the one in his chest but the key difference is this one is designed to power the average American home. Stark means to put the Electric Company out of business. The power grid will become a thing of the past. No more will this city or any other be plagued by blackouts. Each building will have its own source of power.

                There is, however, a safety issue that needs to be addressed. It is all fine and good until Stark’s utopian dream levels a city block. Loki has been tasked to find weaknesses in the new design. He rather likes blowing things up, he has come to find.

                “Dinner’s ready.” Thor says.

                “I can’t. I’m on a roll and I don’t want to break my focus right now.”

                “You and Anthony become more alike with each passing day.” Thor chuckles as he comes behind Loki and squeezes his waist.

                “I’m close to figuring out how to stabilize this in the event of a hard collision.”

                “Are you expecting someone to ram their car into someone’s home?”

                “It does happen. Drunk drivers and all. If one were to hit one of these power boxes it would start a cascade that would decimate an entire city.”

                “I thought it would only level a couple of houses.”

                “Yes but if every house has one, it would then cause a domino effect, like a rippling ring on the surface of the water. No one would be able to escape it. I have to make sure that these things can withstand anything.”

                “Is that why you are playing with the blow torch?” Thor asks as he picks up the rod. Loki grins like a playful cat.

                “Paying recompense to humanity is such a burden, but I’ll manage it somehow.”

                “Mmmm. Who better than the God of Chaos to test a power source with such destructive capabilities?” Thor nibbles at Loki’s earlobe. “You have one hour and then I’m going to send in the enforcer and have her make you come to dinner.”

                “You’re an evil man, using my child against me like that.”

                “If I wanted to be evil I would do this.” Thor rubs Loki’s cock through his pants, swirling his fingers over the hardening shaft until Loki has a full pop-tent in his pants. When a groan slips out of Loki’s mouth Thor stop and turns to leave.

                “Thor! Damn you! You’re going to pay for that!”

                “I look forward to it.” Thor grins and walks out of the room. Loki bites his lip and tries to think of unsexy things to distract himself from the discomfort in his groin. After five minutes he gives up and leaves the lab. He walks back to the bedroom so that the others can't see his condition.

                “Jarvis do kindly tell Thor to join me in the bedroom.”

                “Yes sir.” The AI replies. A moment ticks by and Thor enters with a shit eating grin on his face.

                “Just for that, you are sucking my dick.”

                “Oh is that so?”

                “Yes that is so.”

                “And will I receive any dick sucking in return?”

                “I…maybe. If you are any good.”

                “Is that a challenge?”

                “You know it is.” Thor cups Loki’s cock through his trousers again and tugs at the zipper when Jarvis kills the mood.

                “Sirs, Captain Rogers is requesting your presence in the clubhouse.”

                “Tell him we’re busy.” Loki says as he licks his lips.

                “I’m afraid the situation is urgent.” Loki growls in frustration which elicits another chuckle from Thor.

                “I’ll go see what it is. Stay here.” Thor says. He heads down the hall to find the other gathered around Steve who is already in uniform.

                “Everyone suit up now!” Steve yells. He sounds scared. Steve never sounds scared.

                “What happened?” Thor asks.

                “The SHIELD prison has been compromised. Dozens of criminals escaped including Doom.” Thor curses something in Asgardian. The others don’t understand the exact phrasing, but they don’t need to. They share his sentiment. Thor goes back to his room to put on his armor.

                “What is it?” Loki asks.

                “Doom escaped along with several other prisoners. The team is leaving now to try to capture them before they get too far.”

                “The next time I see Doom I’m going to kill him for interrupting our private time.”

                “Touch yourself while I’m gone and have Jarvis film it. I want to see it when I get home.” Thor whispers into Loki’s ear and then leaves again.

                “And then you can suck my dick.” Loki says.

                “And you’ll kiss me afterwards.” Thor pecks Loki on the cheek and leaves. He can’t really stay in the bedroom. Valeria is now in the living room alone watching television unsupervised. His cock will have to wait until he tucks her into bed.

                He goes into the living room and plops down on the couch beside her. They have a good hour and half before it is bath and bedtime so Loki puts in her favorite pretty pony princess movie and watches it with her. It is about 15 minutes before the ending when Jarvis says something very alarming.

                “Sir there is an intruder in the tower. Please run.” The AI informs. Loki blanches and only a millisecond ticks by before the bell on the elevator dings. Loki quickly makes a clone of himself.

                “Come with mommy’s clone darling girl and do exactly as I say.” It says. Valeria gets up and follows the clone. She can tell something is wrong and starts to fuss.

                “Shh. We must keep quiet now.” She is led away to her bedroom to hide. Loki casts an illusion over himself to look more menacing. His horns come out and his gold/green armor appears. He looks the way he did during the Chitauri invasion. A man Loki has never seen before, wearing a green cloak and a metal mask enters the room.

                “Who are you?” Doom says point a gun at Loki.

                “I could ask you the same. I got here first.”

                “I’m Doom and you are?”

                “Loki of Asgard.”

                “Ah. I recognize you now. Nice helmet.”

                “Nice face.”

                “I admire your work. I take it you are here looking for your brother. He’s not here. I sent him and his friends on a wild goose chase.”

                “Why? Why would you come to the tower when they are not here to fight?”

                “I don’t want to fight them. I want to rob them, or Tony Stark more specifically. He has a piece of technology I need.”

                “You don’t say, and what will you do with this technology once you have it?” Loki takes a couple of steps towards Doom, acting chummy, but sizing him up. Doom’s eyes rake up and down Loki’s form. Doom really does admire Loki and though his attempt to conquer Earth failed he wouldn’t mind having such a powerful ally. A beautiful one at that. Loki notices the eye movement and returns it with a lustful smile.

                “I will show you, if you join me. We could spread a little chaos together you and I. My other friends would welcome you as well.”

                “How could I refuse such an offer? I am the God of Chaos after all.” Loki’s mind races as he debates whether to continue the ruse or try to capture Doom now. He decides against engaging in an open battle with daughter just down the hall. If Doom found her and realized who she was, who Loki is now, he’d kill her for certain. He cannot risk it.

                “Well then, we should hurry. I imagine your brother’s friends will be returning soon.”

                “I believe the area you seek is this way.” Loki says. They head to the lab and Doom uses his gun to shoot through the security glass. Tony has many prototypes in this room, but it surprises him when Doom goes for the very thing Loki has been working on for months.

                “Oh look, they left it out for me like a present.” Doom says. He pulls a thumb drive out of his pocket along with some other spyware looking devices and proceeds to hack Jarvis. Loki did not think it was possible. Doom managed to keep busy somehow while in prison. Which means he had help. He had to have had help. Loki putters about the room acting as though he has never been in this place before in his life as the data downloads to Doom’s thumb drive.

                “Got it. Let’s go.” Doom says in a commanding voice. Loki folds his arms like an impetuous child and stands his ground.

                “Please.” Doom says.

                “That’s more like it.” Loki replies. Loki follows Doom to the elevator, but instead of going down they go up. He should have known. Doom has a helicopter or something waiting for him to help make a hasty retreat. Loki boards it with him, feeling drained as he strains to maintain his magical copy of himself. Right now his clone is tucking his little girl into bed and reading her a story. She’s almost asleep. The helicopter takes off and as it whizzes past many tall building and out of the city, Loki feels his connection to his clone break. Valeria is home alone.


	18. Doubt

“Oh my god! We have to go back!” Tony yells.

                “Back where?” Steve yells back.

                “Back to the tower. Doom is at the tower!” Tony yells.

                “No.” Horror creeps over Thor’s face. Loki and Valeria are in terrible danger. The team has spent the better part of the last hour fighting Doom’s prison buddies in what was a pretty well-orchestrated trap, not that it worked. Thor uses his axe to attack the enemy with new ferocity. He cuts men in half as though they were made of cordwood and hacks at others like serial killer in a slasher fic. The team has never seen Thor in such a state before. Covered head to toe in the blood spray of many men, Thor stands in the middle of the carnage as though in a trance. The bloodlust has consumed him.

                “Thor? Thor buddy you won. You can put the axe down now. We can go home and check on Loki and Valeria now okay?” Tony says while standing a good distance away from Thor, just in case. Thor looks up at Tony as if coming alive and marches to the quinjet. The others follow him. They know they cannot delay. The ride back is long and Thor paces back and forth the length of the jet ready to rip apart Doom with his bare hands. Tony hands Thor a towel to wipe away the excess blood from his face.

                “Thor buddy, maybe you should wash up before we reach the tower. You don’t want Valeria seeing you like this.” Steve says. Thor nods and walks into the tiny jet latrine. He’s covered in so much blood his hair is red. He leans over the tiny sink and soaks his hair and scrubs off the dried blood from his arms and chest armor. He rings his hair out and watches the pink water swirl down the drain. A storm follows the jet as it returns to the tower.

                They land on the roof of the tower and run inside. Thor calls out for Loki, but is only greeted by silence.

                “Valeria!” Thor bellows as terror floods his heart. He bursts into his daughter’s room, waking the child from a deep sleep. She rubs her eyes and looks up at her father, upset and being awoken.

                “Shh. Shh baby girl. It is alright. It is just daddy. Where is your mother? Where’s Loki?”

                “I don’t know. I was sleeping.”

                “Did anything bad or strange happen tonight? Did Mommy do anything weird?”

                “There were two mommies. Mommy made another mommy and had that mommy take me to bed. Daddy, what’s an intruder?”

                “Nothing sweetheart. Go back to sleep.”

                “Are you hurt daddy?”

                “No sweetheart. Daddy beat the bad men. Daddy won.”

                “I love you Daddy. Good night.”

                “Good night sweet pea.” Thor rises from his daughter’s bed and calmly shuts the door behind him.

                “Any sign of Loki?” Thor asks the others.

                “No, but we have footage. Jarvis is showing it to us now.” Tony says. They watch the playback and listen to Loki’s conversation with Doom. Thor’s heart clenches when he hears Loki offer to join Doom’s team and conspire to attack the Avengers. He knows it’s just a ruse to keep their child safe, and yet Thor cannot shake the hurt and the doubt that creeps into his mind.

                “They took off from the roof. Jarvis, tap into the radar data from the nearest airport and find out where they went.”

                “They appear to have landed in the middle of a forest in western Pennsylvania.”

                “Oh goodie. I wonder what his headquarters will be this time. Maybe an old auto plant or a shutdown amusement park. Scooby Dooby Doo.” Tony says. Clint can’t help but chuckle. He offers to stay behind to watch Valeria and keep her safe. The rest of the team takes off on the quinjet to head to the coordinates that Jarvis gave them. They arrive at the location an hour later to find an abandoned helicopter and no clues. Thunder rolls overhead.

XxXxXxXxXx

                “It’s been three days! Where are they?” Thor shouts at Steve. He’s practically in a panic.

                “Thor it’s going to be okay. We’ll find Loki. He’ll be fine. He’s a big boy. He can handle himself.”

                “What if Doom is hurting him? What if, what if Loki meant those things he said?” Thor’s eyes leak.

                “Thor man look, no one here thinks Loki betrayed us. We all saw the tape. He did the most prudent thing he could do in that scenario. He protected Valeria and ingratiated himself to the enemy. Hell he’s acting as our spy right now! I wouldn’t be surprised if Loki contacts us before long and tells us everything we need to know to bring Doom down.” Tony says.

                “I want so desperately to believe that.” Thor says.

                “You should. I know Loki has betrayed you- a lot. Like a lot, a lot. But this time is different Thor. Loki was smart. He couldn’t have played Doom better.” Tony says.

                “Why haven’t we heard anything?” Thor says.

                “He is probably in a place right now where he can’t do that without drawing suspicion.” Natasha says.

                “Look, I know how hard the waiting can be. Not knowing if he is suffering right now and in need of rescue. I get it, and SHIELD has people working on the intelligence portion. Hopefully we won’t have to wait for Loki to contact us.

XxXxXxXxXx

                “So how old are you anyway?” Doom asks Loki.

                “1246 years old. It’s not polite to ask a god their age you know.” Loki teases. He’s kept up this flirtation for days. Doom seems eager to stick his metal dick (or whatever the hell it is that is still left between the man’s legs) into him.

                “Sir, the army is almost ready. Those new power units are perfect for our needs.”

                “Good. Good. Let me know when they are ready to deploy. New York will be experiencing Déjà vu very soon.” Loki knows that Doom has been in prison for a couple of years now, but his men did not sit on their laurels while he was incarcerated. They continued on their mission and research, creating a cyborg army for their master and waited for his return.

                “Yes sir.” The henchman said and walked away. Loki has had many opportunities to kill Doom, but he wants to make sure that the cyborg army inside this giant underground bunker is destroyed as well.

                “So here we are on the eve of our big battle. We should celebrate by consummating our business venture.”

                “Consummating? I don’t know if I should. I prefer to reward winners and you have yet to prove yourself.”

                “What if I kill your brother for you, since you seem to have such a hard time doing it yourself?”

                “I will kill Thor. That’s the deal. It’s my kill and you will not rob me of it.”

                “As you wish. But if I conquer New York City for you, what would you say then?”

                “I’d say ride me Daddy. Show me what that mortal cock of yours can do.” Loki leans in and leers at Doom. “If you are any good, I might keep you as a pet.”

                “A pet? You my feline friend are the pet here. I’ve never met another person besides myself that liked to have his ego stroked so much.”

                “Well, if you want me to stroke your…ego…in return, don’t stop now.” Loki says. Doom’s deep voice rolls with a malicious chuckle.

                “The battle begins tomorrow. I look forward to our victory.” Doom says.

                “As do I.” Doom and Loki rise from their table and walk the corridor down to Loki’s room. It is bare bones but he didn’t expect much. It is also located right next to Doom’s room. Doom raises Loki’s hand to his metal lips and presses a stiff steel kiss to the back of it.

                “Good night my Prince.” Doom says.

                “Good night my King.” Loki says. Loki closes the door and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t get in bed. Not tonight. He needs to wait until Doom is asleep and then go into the warehouse and find a way to set off the power packs on all the cyborg soldiers without killing himself in the process.

XxXxXxXxXx

                “We know where they are.  Everybody get ready. We leave in 10 minutes.” Steve says. Maria Hill is there and has been tapped for babysitting duty. The others suit up and they take off in the middle of the night to a location in Maine.

                They land half a mile away from a structure that used to be a Ski Resort back during the roaring twenties. It is obvious that some recent upgrades have been made and that the old building now has tenants. A lot of tenants in fact. The battle begins when they reach the edge of the tree line and are spotted by Doom’s men.

                Loki hugs the wall as the blasts shake the structure. He curses himself for waiting too long. Now Thor and the others are here. He can’t set off the power packs on the cyborgs now. The explosion would almost certainly kill all of them. Damn! Damn! Damn! Loki runs back to his room. The last thing he needs is Doom wondering what the hell he is up to by not being in his room.

                Loki runs up the stairs in his invisibility, almost getting run over by armed henchmen twice.

                “Where is Loki?” Doom yells as the building shakes. Loki waits until his head is turned before uncloaking himself.

                “I’m here. What is happening?” Loki asks even though he knows damn well what is happening.

                “Your brother is here. We could use your help.” Doom says. Loki’s face is a passive mask as he spits out his response.

                “I’m happy to oblige.”

                “Good, I’ll let you fend off your brother while I worry about the rest.” Doom says. He pulls out a wicked looking dagger and hands it to Loki. It is a silver emerald encrusted item that Doom clearly picked out for Loki as a gift. It would be touching if it came from someone else and under very different circumstances. Loki feels sickness settle into his gut.

                “Thank you. It is lovely.” Loki says. A particularly loud bang rattles the facility then. “What was that?”

                “I released the cyborgs. They are engaging your brother and his friends now.”

                “Ah.” Loki rushes to the balcony of his room to see what is happening outside. The team is swarmed with cyborgs and barely managing to fend them off. They’re losing.  Even the Hulk, smashing with all his rage and fury cannot keep up with the volume. Loki walks back to Doom cool and calm but pissy.

                “Are your cyborgs instructed to capture or kill the Avengers?” Loki asks in a cool tone that suggests he is about be become very angry.

                “Kill of course.”

                “And what of your promise to me to let me kill my brother? I’ve got a vendetta against him that is thousands of years old. If I am robbed of it I will be very put out.” Loki glares daggers at Doom to let him know that he will dish his retribution upon Doom is he is denied his vengeance.

                “So be it.” Doom lifts up his wrist and speaks into a control device on his forearm, commanding the troops to capture instead of kill the Avengers. Since the cyborgs are untested he doesn’t have full faith or confidence that they will be able to discern one Avenger from another, so they’ll have to capture all of them.

                A sedative is put into a tranquilizer gun and fired at The Hulk. The Hulk stumbles a bit and begins to shrink until a naked Bruce collapses into the dirt. Tony runs out of ammo and is low on power. His suit is damaged and he cannot sustain any more hits. The others are on their knees within minutes. Though a large pile of dead cyborgs lay in a heap outside, there were too many for the team to overcome. They are chained up from the ceiling in the fashion that Doom likes. At least this time they all still have their clothes on.

                When Loki and Doom enter the room the team looks at him with shock. No one says anything however. Either they are completely fucked or Loki is their last saving grace. They can’t afford to out Loki now.

                “There you are. Now hurry up and kill him before he summons another one of those damn storms of his.” Doom says clearly irritated. “And while you’re at it kill the others as well.”

                “With pleasure.” Loki says as he pulls out the dagger from its holder. Loki locks eyes with Thor, but his peripheral vision is doing a head count of the henchmen in the room. There are at least two dozen. The Avengers are chained and cannot fight back. This is bad.

                Thor studies Loki. The scar on his ribcage tingles with anticipation of being opened again. The others believe Loki is still on their side. If they didn’t they would have called him a traitor by now. The war inside Thor’s head screams and roars. Loki is sauntering towards him with a dagger drawn like so many times before. Trusting Loki now would require a leap of faith.

                Thor’s mind calms. He can either die with fear and hatred in his heart or he can find peace.

                “I trust you Loki. I trust you Loki. I trust you Loki.” Thor mutters as Loki’s dagger draws up.

                Loki flings the dagger across the room and embeds it into a henchman’s throat, killing him instantly. A dozen Loki’s appear and pandemonium breaks out. As the henchmen all take aim at illusions stray bullets fly, some of which hit Steve, Natasha, and Clint in the legs. Some of the wounds are superficial but one hits an artery in Clint’s leg. He’ll bleed out in minutes. The real Loki tackles Doom.

                It becomes obvious to the henchmen that the other Loki’s aren’t real and the shooting stops. Thor watches as Doom and Loki pummel each other. Loki tries to use illusions as a distraction, but it doesn’t work. Loki was never very good at hand to hand combat, and he is losing. Thor feels a pull in his chest he has not felt in years. He stretches out his hand and calls upon a power that has been denied him since the day he raped Loki and prays for an answer of redemption.

                Doom punches Loki hard in the face and Loki crumbles to the ground. Doom is a lot stronger than the average mortal, Loki is unhappy to find. Doom grabs Loki by the collar and hauls him up.

                “You two faced lying bitch! I should’ve fucked you when I had the chance. Maybe I’ll let my men take turns on you before I have my cyborgs rip your limbs from your torso!”

                “Do you know why you always lose?” Loki chuckles as a drop of blood oozes from his mouth.

                “Oh, why is that?”

                “Because you are ruled by sentiment.” Loki says. He’s really talking about himself in this moment, but Doom doesn’t know that. A high pitched whine like a jet engine is suddenly heard in the distance and by the time everyone has the moment to wonder where the sound is coming from, a loud crash explodes through the wall and Mjolnir flies into Thor’s hand. The chains binding Thor buckle and drop when Thor tugs on them. He rips them from his wrists as though they were silly string.

                “Now you die.” Thor points at Doom. Thor shoots lightning bolts at Dooms men, frying them, before charging forward. Doom drops Loki into a heap on the ground and tries to run but Thor grabs him by the hood and swings his mighty hammer.

                Doom’s head bursts like a bloody water balloon. Loki gets up and runs to the others to free them. Clint is pale and fading fast. He needs immediate medical attention. Loki snatches a set of keys off a dead guard and undoes their chains as Thor fends off the last of the henchmen.

                Steve can walk but the pain is excruciating. Natasha can’t stand at all. Her leg has three bullet holes in it. Tony picks up Clint and carries him bridal style. Loki picks up Natasha, pulling her arm around his shoulders. Bruce is out cold still. It’ll take hours for Doom’s drugs to wear off. Thor will have to carry him.

                They limp back to the quinjet and haul ass to the nearest hospital.


	19. Make It Rain

Agent Johnson unlocks the front door to the SHIELD apartment where he lives. It is a cushy gig. He gets to spend his days and nights living rent free in a luxury New York City apartment pulling “guard duty”. All because the hammer of the God of Thunder sits in the middle of his living room. He fumbles with his grocery bags and plops them on the counter while holding an unopen bag of Doritos in his teeth. The bag of chips drops to the ground when he sees the condition of his living room. The outer wall is gone. So is Mjolnir.

                “Shit!” He picks up the phone to call his superiors and is connected to the Director himself after just a few minutes.

                “Director Sir. The hammer is gone!”

                “It’s alright agent. Thor has it. The hammer is back where it belongs.”

                “But there is a giant hole in the wall.”

                “We’ll have our team work on the repairs in the morning, along with your new duty assignment.”

                “That is good to hear. Good night sir.”

                “Good night agent.” Johnson hangs up the phone.

                “Damn it. I really liked this apartment.”

XxXxXxXx

                “Mommy! I missed you mommy! Where were you?” Valeria leaps into Loki’s arms and snuggles him like she’ll never let him go.

                “I fought the bad men sweetheart. Mommy won.” Loki said. He’s got a black eye and a busted lip but is otherwise fine. But Valeria seems to think Loki will die of his wounds any second.

                “I love you Mommy.”

                “I love you too darling girl.” Loki sits down on the couch and holds his daughter. Thor comes and sits beside them, draping his arm around Loki’s shoulders. Loki strokes Valeria’s hair as her head rests on his chest, listening to his heart beat. She tucks her thumb into her mouth, a bad habit she has not indulged in years. Loki allows it this one time. He turns his face to Thor’s.

                “You trusted me.”

                “I did.”

                “You’re a damned fool you know.”

                “I have come to find that only fools can be worthy of Mjolnir…and of you.”

                “We get to go home now.”

                “We do.” Thor pauses and looks at his little family. “There’s no rush. We can take a few days to rest before we return and face the hordes of people awaiting us there. Our old duties and responsibilities will resume. Our old friends will try to resume things as though nothing has happened, at least with regard to me. They’ll have quite a bit of adjusting to do.”

                “It will be an adjustment for Asgard and for us. I wonder how much Mother and Father have told the people about our time here on Midgard. Do the people even know Valeria exists?”

                “We’ll find out when we return and figure things out as we go. Right now I’m going to enjoy my little family while I can before all the politics and drama put constraints on our time. I will have to set the record straight with many people I suspect.” Thor says.

                “I love you Thor.”

                “I trust you Loki.” They lean in and kiss one another and put that jewelry commercial to shame.

XxXxXxXx

                Thor leans back and spreads his legs as Loki kisses up his thighs. Thor’s back arches when Loki licks at his hole. He lets his vulnerability wash over him like the tide. He feels safe. He’ll let Loki do anything to him. Loki pulls out a full sized vibrator. They didn’t discuss this. Thor goes red in the face. He’s been too embarrassed to ask for this. He worried what Loki would think of him, but Loki knew him too well. Loki turns on the vibrator to its highest setting and presses it Thor’s thigh.

                “You want this inside you?”

                “Yes.”

                “You want my cock inside you too?”

                “Yes! Yes please!” Loki presses the lubricated rod to Thor’s entrance and slides it in a one smooth motion. Thor groans as the vibrations set his prostate on fire. The setting is perfect. Loki fucks him with it, watching the goofy faces Thor makes as his orgasm builds.

                Loki leans down and sucks on the silky shaft that is red with engorging blood. Thor gasps from the intensity of the dual sensations and comes into Loki’s mouth, feeling the tongue lave and mouth muscles suck.

                “You’re so beautiful like this. Tell me what you are thinking.” Loki says.

                “We wasted so much time. All these years, we could have had this wonderful union.”

The vibrator is withdrawn and replaced by Loki’s cock. Loki leans down and their chests connect. They can feel each other’s hearts beating rapidly as Loki gyrates his hips. They kiss, tasting each other and themselves.

                “Come inside me baby.” Thor moans. Loki gasps, turned on by Thor’s begging.

                “You want it?”

                “Yes.”

                “You like being fucked in the ass?”

                “Yes!”

                “Are you ergi Thor? You like being bent in half like a woman and stuffed full of my cock?”

                “YES!”

                “Oh!” Loki moans as he spills into Thor. They kiss again, languid and lazy. Loki rests his head under Thor’s chin and falls asleep with his cock still inside. They nap like that for a while and when they awaken they continue their love making.

                Feeling sweaty they both hop into the shower to scrub down. Thor stands behind Loki and uses his strong calloused hands to lather up his creamy skin and strokes his cock clean. Loki plants his hands on the shower wall and leans forward slightly. His ass arches in invitation and Thor’s heart leaps at the trust required in it.

                “Not in here darling. I want to be facing you when we do that. Are you ready for me Loki? Are you ready for me to be inside you?”

                “Yes…” Loki wants it, to be made love to. He has wanted that above all other things for as long as he can remember. Thor cuts the shower water and the men step out. They rush back to the bed dripping wet and eager.

                Thor reaches for the oil as Loki lies back on the bed and spreads his legs. Thor kneels between them and takes a moment to appreciate the position he’s in. Trust. They cannot have love without it.

                “I love you Loki.” He slicks up his fingers and starts playing with the rim of muscle, moving slowly and gently. He takes his time. Loki bites his lip as it curls up in a lustful grin. When Thor finally breaches Loki they are both shocked when a stream of clear viscous fluid leaks out of Loki, a natural lubrication.

                “This…you didn’t do this when…” Of course Loki hadn’t been wet the last time. He was being violated. “I…how do you feel?” Thor asks. Loki arches as Thor’s probing finger brushes against something inside him that makes him howl. “Is that good?”

                “It’s wonderful.” Loki purrs. Thor tosses the oil aside and slowly lowers his weight on top of Loki. His blonde hair cascades down and curtains their faces. They gaze into each other’s eyes and share the same air.

                “I trust you Thor.” Loki leans up and kisses him. Thor reaches down between them and grabs himself.

                “Are you ready?”

                “Yes.” Thor presses the tip into the soft lax hole and slides in easily. He watches Loki’s face the entire time, looking for signs of panic or fear. Loki’s hooded eyes roll back in a comical way as his lips make the shape of a silent “O”. Thor kisses Loki again and showers him with praise.

                “Oh darling, you feel sublime.” Their fingers interlace as the stare deeply into each other’s eyes.

                “Oh Thor…oh…”

                “So beautiful…Oh love…”

                “Oh…uh…Thor? Thor…I need more…” Loki loves the sweet slow drag of Thor’s cock inside him, but it is driving him wild and he needs release. He needs power and passion.

                Thor incrementally picks up the pace, careful not to damage his sweet Loki.

                “Oh! Oh Thor! Darling! Yes!”

                “I want to come inside you.”

                “Yes! Oh Thor…”

                “Oh Loki. Oh. I love you. I love you.”

                “I love you Thor.” Relief washes through them both, as though they have been holding their breath for the past five years. The wind outside howls as the rain comes down sideways, in a storm that is centered over the building. The lightning streaks across the sky in the most beautiful frightening branches. Loki screams when his insides cramp and vibrate in a type of orgasm he has never experienced before. Thor follows him as white ribbons fill his lover.

                “Marry me.” Thor says.

                “I thought you’d never ask.”

XxXxXxXxXx

                Loki finishes packing a bag full of Valeria’s clothes. He doesn’t know why he is doing it. Once they are in Asgard the palace seamstress will create a whole new wardrobe for his daughter befitting a princess. It must be sentiment.

                Loki walks out to the living room to find Thor standing outside on the balcony talking to Huguinn and Munnin.

                “Are you excited to go to Asgard?” Loki asks Valeria.

                “YEA! I want to ride horseys with Grandma!”

                “Grandma can’t wait to ride horseys with you too.”

                “Is it almost time?” Tony asks.

                “It looks like it.” Loki says.

                “Will you guys be coming back to visit?”

                “We will try. I have taken a calendar with me that marks all your important mortal holidays. We will try to come visit on those occasions.”

                “We’re glad to see you and Thor work things out.  I didn’t think it would ever happen.” Steve says.

                “I owe all of you a great deal of thanks. You have been friends to me though I was the enemy. I won’t forget it.”

                “We’re just glad you’re not attacking the city anymore.” Tony says. He leans in and gives Loki a good man hug.

                “Thank you most of all.”

                “You’re welcome. Don’t be a stranger, and make sure you bring her to visit too.” Tony says.

                “We will.” Loki says. Clint comes hobbling in on crutches with a cast on his leg looking rather pathetic. Along with nicking the artery, the bullet also broke a bone.

                “Shut up.”

                “I wasn’t going to say anything.” Loki says. “I could make a joke about a one legged chicken, or chicken hawk, or…ah, well I’m sure Anthony will think of something.”

                “Why did the Hawkeye cross the road? To get to the other side! Ah Ha! Ha! Ha!” Tony says, making fake over the top laughter like Goofy from Disneyland.

                “You’re both dicks.”

                “I’ll miss you too.” Loki says to Clint. Heimdall appears on the balcony and Loki feels a tinge of bittersweetness sting his eyes. Stupid sentiment. He takes Valeria by the hand and walks outside to meet him and join Thor.

                “Brace yourself. The Queen is going to hug you to death and then steal your daughter.”

                “Oh I’m sure she has at least a fortnight of activities lined up for our little princess.” Thor says.

                “Whatever shall we do with all our spare time?” Loki says.

                “Fend off the vultures at court.” Thor says.

                “Oh yes, the rabble. How could I forget?”

                “If my princes are ready…?”

                “Aye.” Thor says. The light of the Bifrost engulfs them and the four Asgardians plus many bags of luggage disappear in rainbow brilliance.

                “Oh my boys!” Frigga smashes into her children, just as promised. Two grown men and the Queen all sob and blubber before a large group of gathered dignitaries, and Odin.

                “I did not think the miracle would happen. My boys, welcome home.” Odin says with a warm smile. Loki cowers into Thor’s side, uncertain if some latent punishment is going to drop. He spies Sif and the Warriors Three standing in a group off to the left. They don’t look happy.

                “Grandma! Grandma! I want to ride the horseys grandma!”

                “I know a horse that is dying to meet you. You know not just anybody gets to ride him.”

                “Will Sleipnir recognize Valeria as kin?” Thor asks Loki.

                “Oh yes. He’ll smell it on her. I suspect they will become inseparable.” Loki says. Frigga hops onto the back of Sleipnir and pulls little Valeria up with her. Sleipnir whinnies a happy sound and takes off down the Bifrost.

                “Less than five minutes. It’s a record.” Loki says. Thor chuckles.

                “You’re mother kidnapped Valeria for a purpose. I have serious business to discuss with you both.” Odin says. Thor and Loki both frown. Here it comes. What shall it be? Public shaming? And shaming for what exactly? Isn’t their punishment over?

                “And what business would that be?” Loki says with a tone.

                “Your impending wedding ceremony of course.” Odin says. Thor and Loki break into relieved smiles. Thor pulls Loki close to him and kisses his temple, earning horrified, if muted expressions from his friends. They obviously did not want to believe it was true. Like their six year old daughter was just a mass hallucination they were all sharing. Loki grins like the Grinch, an evil smile. He turns fully to Thor and pulls him in for a dirty salacious kiss. Odin grimaces a little. He can’t help it. They are both his sons, but he’ll get used to it, eventually.

                Thor and Loki hold hands as they walk with their father down the Bifrost at a stroll. Odin discuses with his boys various treaties and skirmishes that happened while they were gone. The subject of Thor’s coronation comes up and there is a pregnant pause.

                “I trust there will be no disruptions this time?” Odin asks Loki.

                “Only so long as you crown me as King’s Consort and not Queen, I have no objections.”

                “Fine, fine.”

                “Father, what do the people of Asgard know about our time away?”

                “Well, until your arrival they only knew that you had made yourself unworthy and that Loki was banished alongside you. Valeria was a bit of a surprise to everyone besides Heimdall and your mother. Your kiss back there was quite scandalous, not to mention your daughter.”

                “Why did you not tell the people of her existence or the truth of our banishment?” Loki asks.

                “That little girl does not need to know how she was conceived, now does she?”

                “No, definitely not.”

                “Then you’ll also agree that the people also do not need to know the nature of it either.”

                “Aye.” Thor says.

                “But then, what are the people to believe about Thor’s banishment. They’ll understand my banishment but Thor, they’ll assume after seeing Valeria that he was banished for loving me.” Loki says as the unfairness of it washes over him.

                “Oh nonsense! If that were the case you would not be here now. Let the people wonder. It is none of their business.” Odin says dismissively. “Besides, once they witness the wedding ceremony such foolish theories will be put to rest.”

                “I suppose.” Loki says. It is true that Odin will have to officiate the ceremony, but he doubts that it will put a stop to the wild speculation. Such a vacuum of information will only breed it.

                “Do not worry darling. You have me and whatever tongue wagging may come our way know that my love for you will not change.”

Loki leans into Thor more as they walk and Thor wraps his arm around Loki’s shoulder. They converse with their father a little more about the state of affairs in Asgard. When they reach the palace Odin let’s his sons see to their things and get settled. It is as they approach their old rooms that it really sinks in, they’re home.

It is strange thinking of their separate rooms and it occurs to them that they never discussed who would move in with whom? They reach Thor’s room first and enter it, only to find it stripped and empty.

“Where are all my things?”

“I wonder if they did the same to my room.” Loki says. They go a little further down the hall to find that like Thor’s room, Loki’s room has been stripped as well.

“You there! Where are our quarters?” Thor shouts at a passing servant. The servant looks perplexed. Did the King not tell them?

“My Prince, you have been moved into their Majesty’s quarters in anticipation of your coronation and nuptials. King Odin and Queen Frigga have moved into the Sunset Wing.”

“Oh.”

“We shouldn’t be all that surprised. Their apartments have room for a nursery and children’s rooms. We didn’t move down to this end of the palace until we entered adolescence.” Loki says.

“I remember. Father thought we were of the age to have our privacy.”

“I think that was his way of addressing your rampant masturbation problem.”

“I didn’t have a rampant masturbation problem.”

“Oh please. It rained at least five times a day when you hit puberty.”

“That was your fault, I’ll have you know.” Thor says. Loki gets a wicked idea then.

“I have a wonderful idea.”

“Oh? And what is that?”

“Let’s make it rain tonight.” Loki says.

“Shall I stuff mortal money into your undergarments while you dance?”

“Who said I would be the one dancing?”  

 


End file.
